A Cornucopia of Crack

 

For this post, I present to you a cornucopia of crack. I hope that it’s bouquet is light enough for those who haven’t entirely acquired the taste for this sort of thing, but that the flavor is also robust enough for those who partake in crack regularly.

Stories have been shortened or modified in some cases for entertainment purposes and for the sake of simplicity.If you are curious to learn more about a particular story, feel free to email me, comment below, PM me, etc.

_________________

It’s 1am and I still can’t sleep. The room is dark and I’m floating somewhere between awake and not. I roll over onto my side and see that my night stand- a mini shrine that I keep next to my bed, is on fire. I find myself telling my astral companion “Hey look, everything is on fire. Huh.”

And what does any good Kemetic do when things are on fire?

They execrate.

The scene is set, somehow I’m not quite watching myself in first person view, but I’m not entirely in third person view, either. I can no longer tell if I’m in my room or not anymore, but it doesn’t really matter. I see Set and Osiris’ statues looking on as I begin to throw things into this fire which has consumed everything next to my bed. The words that escape my mouth are forceful and stern. I still don’t know where they came from, but they remind me of something that you would read out of a formal execration. To this day, I can’t recollect the exact words, either.

I guess you could say I got caught up in the moment.

I told the foes to run, for I and my companions were with Ra, and nothing could stand against us. In my half awake state, I managed to say the names of multiple friends and companions who were in need of some assistance. I guess my brain was still with me, somehow.

And then I rolled over and fell asleep and forgot about it for about a week or two- when I realized that “Oh yeah, my room was on fire and I totally execrated the hell out of everything for everyone”. Two weeks is my incubation time for most standard magix, and lo! most of the people I had mentioned in my execration had seen some form of improvement between then and the two week waiting period.

Crack execration mission: Accomplished.

____________________

I’m kneeling down in front of a tray of offerings. Everything has a Japanese flair to it- the offering tray, the offerings themselves, the incense that I’m lighting. Normally, on any given day, my clothing would have a Japanese slant, too, but today is different.

My companion stands behind me, half hidden in the darkness. This is his first trip here, he’s never met Set before- at least not to my knowledge. Set slowly enters from the darkness on the other side of the offering tray. My companion stiffens slightly, hoping to go unnoticed by Set. Set comes in, clothing as fancy and extravagant as normal – deep purples, shining golds, thick heavy fabrics that trail the ground. He sits down and stares at me briefly- something he is apt to do.

“You’re wearing a new dress,” he says to me, finally.
I respond with a drawn out, unsure “….yeah? … is there something wrong with that?”
“Where did you get it?” he asks me sharply.
“It was made for me to wear, why do you care?” I shoot back.
Set looks at me, then looks up at the man standing behind me, “did you make this?” he says, pointing at me. He almost seems annoyed.
You can’t hear or see the response, but you can feel it, my companion nods slightly.

Set sits there quietly for a moment, thinking. He suddenly cuts the silence with “You will make more of these! I like this dress. It makes your breasts look good!”

I’m taken back by this statement. “What is wrong with what I normally wear, huh?!” I yell back at him. “And why are you looking at my chest?!”

All he does is laugh at me and tell me to wear this dress more often.

___________________

“You were never meant to have this piece,” Osiris says, as he thrusts his hand into my torso.

It’s nighttime, and I’m floating in the river. I’ve come to give up something that is not mine. Something that was given to me to keep safe, but something that I’m no longer meant to have. His hand reaches into me and pulls out the piece. I don’t ever get to see what it looks like- I’m too deep in the water by that point, and all I can see is the blood that fills the water above me.

I will continue to sink into the never ending water until there is nothing but darkness around me. When the time is right, O will give the nod to Set and they will slowly draw me up out of the abyss. I’m dragged out of the water and left on the shoreline where I lay lifeless. I’ve a friend with me tonight, and he is extremely concerned. He asks the two deities what is going on, why I’m not moving.

“That’s because she’s dead,” says Set bluntly.
“She needs to find herself,” O says quietly.

Neither of these responses please him.

As I float in the darkness, looking for what I need to find, Osiris tells me that there is still more work to be done. He isn’t kidding.

_______________________

My companion and I had just entered the Pit- the location where I usually meet up with Set when I’m actively working on things. Tonight is to be a fun night- Set is to remove a bit of nastiness from my ribcage. It should prove to be a painful and exciting evening. I knelt down and began to light the incense when I hear Set’s voice tell me that it isn’t necessary. I’m confused by this, as we always have incense, but before I can say anything about it, I find myself pinned against a wall and a knife at my throat. He asks me if I’m ready to begin, and I ask Set what the hell he’s doing when I realize -

This isn’t Set.

You know all of those times when we harp about discernment? Here is one of those times.

Set has had to do some invasive stuff to me in my day. He’s cut things out of me, he’s ripped off limbs that were decaying. I’ve had a lot of work done- but it has never been without some level of warning. I ask this entity who they are and what they want. I get a sly grin in return.

“Perceptive, aren’t we?” the man responds.
“I’ve spent too much time staring at Set to not know when its not him,” I quip back.

And then we spar. Astral fights are always a mixed bag. You can never tell what the person will bring to the table- magix, weapons, both. Forms change and lights flare as we play this cat and mouse game in the dark- as the Pit is as dark as the darkest night. However, I am no stranger to the dark- I have lived in the Pit. I’ve become part of the Pit.

To a degree, I am the Pit.

This entity must realize that he is at a tactical disadvantage and decides to try and take a psychological approach to beating me. He picks at a recent bit of shadow work that I’ve been tackling. He taunts me about being a Nobody, just like him. That we are both Nobodies, and no one cares or misses Nobodies like us.

Rule number one to fights like this- never show your weak side.

We banter back and forth as the sparring continues. Eventually, the entity is sent packing and the real Set shows up and the whole shebang can get started.

He will give me flack for the next few weeks because every time I show up I double check that it’s actually him.

______________________

I am troubled. My mind runs a million miles per second. In my mental flurry, I find myself at the river. O brings me close to him and we step into the water. I’m mumbling and spewing all sorts of worries and concerns; the contents of my brain exploding out of my mouth. O pays no mind. He brings my hands up to his face while I continue on.

And then I’m falling through the water. O had shoved me under while I was mid-sentence. The view is different, and everything appears to be surreal. I can’t tell if I’m actually under the water, or watching a vision of myself under the water.

My hand reaches up for the surface, my hair circles around my face- but no matter how I try, I can’t find a way to move up. That must mean that the answer to my problems lies down at the bottom of the river. I release all of the air in my lungs and slowly sink into the darkness. As the darkness consumes me, I see an image of a statue. The statue is obscured in darkness, but you can make out a few details- there are two sets of multi-colored wings, a was scepter, and the skin is brass or gold.

I contemplate this statue for a bit, wondering what it could mean. When I come to, I find that I am resting in O’s lap on the banks of the river. I look up at him as he kisses my forehead and proceeds to pick me up, taking me back to the river to send me home.

“That’s it?! That’s your magical advice?!” I yell at him as we fall back into the water.

Yes. That’s it.

_____________________________

I’ve recently found myself going to a river in my visions and meditations. Often times while there, a man will join me- a man I’d later come to find out is Osiris. On this particular night, I find myself floating in the water, close to the banks of the river. As I lay there, I find that a vision takes over. In this vision, I am watching two people off in the distance. To the right is a tall man. To my left there is a woman on the ground- she is burned to the point that you can’t even recognize most of her features. There is panic and anger in the air.

I scream at the man “What did you do to her?!” I am not me, but watching these events through someone else’s eyes.
He looks down at me an coldly responds “I taught her a lesson.” before he walks off into the distance.

Panic sets in. I find that I am thinking to myself “what can I do to save her? What can be done? Why did this happen? What do I do?!”

I find myself back in the river. I contemplate the meaning of this vision, what its trying to tell me. Before I get very far, I find that I have been dragged into a different location. This place is very dark and warm. There is an orange and red flicker to the walls- I assume from fire. On the ground is a woman. She is charred and emaciated. Looking at her, she reminds me of the woman in the vision sequence prior- the woman who was burned by the man. Instinctively, I grab her up and hold her in my arms. As I hold onto her, I feel these emotions overtake me. Sadness, pain, suffering. I try not to panic, but I don’t know what to do. I try to pump as much love into her as I can muster, but I’m still mentally flailing.

In a moment of desperation, I decide to take her to the river. I mean, it can’t hurt, right? I run out into the water, her still in my arms. We get into the deeper portions and then we sink down into the water- falling and sinking until there is nothing but blackness around us.

And in that very moment, I figure out what it is that the river does.

When we surface, I find that the woman’s skin is no longer charred and burned, but instead looks as though it has healed. She still looks emaciated, but she is at least whole and certainly more healed than when I found her. As I sing softly to her, a man watches from the opposite bank.

It was the first of many many times that I would bring things to the river to be drowned.

 

KRT: Heka

This round of the Kemetic Round Table is about heka and what it is, and how we can work with it.

So what is heka?

Like ma’at, heka is both a deity and a concept, and it is the concept that we are concerning ourselves with today. Heka, which is commonly referred to as ‘magic’ in English, is about authoritative speech and also means “activating the ka”. To put it in laymen terms, heka is about words of any shape or variety. Spoken words, written words, signed words- just about any form of communication you can throw a stick at falls under heka. Everyone on the planet has the capacity to utilize heka as it was given to all of us by the gods (Ra is often cited as the main ‘giver’) to help protect ourselves from the perils of the world.

Despite the literal translation of ‘heka’ referring to words and communication, heka rituals can involve much more than just speech. According to Rittner, heka can involve circumambulation, licking, spitting, binding, trampling, blowing, swallowing, the use of images, breaking, burning, piercing, etc. While this may seem confusing as first, I believe that the two concepts go hand in hand because ritualized action (and all actions and body language in general) fall under the realm of communication- which is essentially what heka is all about (the use of words in all forms to command and create change in the world around us).

What makes one person’s heka more powerful than another’s is knowing how to effectively use both of these elements to create that change. What makes it difficult is knowing that pretty much everything you say or do is heka, and that everything you say and do creates ripples in the world around you, which creates change in the world around you.

How do we use heka well?

Also like ma’at, using heka effectively will vary person to person, but I think it can be summed up fairly simply:

Be considerate of all that you say and do.

Now, when I say ‘be considerate’, I’m not necessarily saying that you always need to be considerate to others, I’m saying that you need to consider every action that you take. To ensure that your actions and words have the greatest impact, you have to understand the situation you’re in at any given time, and consider which actions you can take that will bring about the desired reactions and changes in the world around you.

That is where the power of heka lies.

This means being concise in your statements- making sure that you have enough details to get the message across without having too many details. Its about making sure that your words and actions are tailored to the person/s you’re around and that you are communicating n a way that will create the desired response from those you are interacting with. Some might consider this a sign of being a charmer or charismatic.

I consider it a sign of being good with heka.

How can we work with it?

That is difficult to answer because, to me, the answer is so diverse and large that it’s hard to put into words. Heka has the capacity to permeate all aspects of your life- in magical, mundane and religious aspects. Every ritual you do for the gods is heka. Any magical rite you do could be considered heka. Talking with your boss can be a form of heka.

Anything and everything can go back to heka.

That is why learning how to communicate effectively (both in speech and body language) can be so important and useful- because you can use those skills just about anywhere and with anyone.

Relevant Posts:

• Heka is a Two Way Street
• Warboar’s Heka for Everyone Series

 

Devo Magix: Recent Shenans

I’ve written guides on how to do various magix, but I wanted to show some of the various magix bits I’ve been up to lately. Hopefully some of these can be used to give you ideas on some of the things that you could do for your own magix!

Spoon Magix

I talk a lot about spoons. How to keep them, how to spend them better, how to work with the amount that you have. And recently, I decided that I would magix some spoons for some of my friends in an attempt to help them keep their spoons or gain more spoons.

Enter spoon magix!

I searched around at local thrift stores for spoons. I didn’t want to buy a whole silverware kit, only to utilize the spoons, and our local Savers has bags of various silverware bits and pieces. And it just so happens that sometimes, they have bags that are nothing but spoons. I hunted around for a nicer quality of silverware- and managed to find some that are actually silver plated.

I took them home and washed them the old fashioned way with soap and water. I polished them to the best of my ability with a silver cleaning cloth. I then put some of my special oils on them and put then into a grid setup to soak up juju.

 

This grid is multiple layers. There are two levels of magixed doilies and in btwn them is a sigil that I created to help bring more go juice to the grid.

I let the spoons sit there for about a week. In the meantime, I created pouches for each spoon to go into. The pouch is a two fold method going on- it can be used for other magix, or it can be used to help recharge the spoon.

Each pouch was hand made (via sewing machine) with fabrics that I hoped would suit each person. In btwn each layer of fabric is another sigil hand tailored for the person or persons each spoon would be going to. I then finished up each spoon by wrapping it with various ribbon. Another form of knot magix at work.

All of the spoons and their corresponding pouches

Windchime Magix

Wind chime magix is actually something that my non-pagan grandmother taught me about. She told me once that when she was a child in Japan, the locals would hang various things on their furin chimes- which would help to spread word of whatever it was they desired by whomever could hear the chime.

Now, I have no clue if this is true- but the idea of using wind chimes as a means of magix is something I’ve grown up with. There was a time when my grandmother was trying to make it selling particular products to people (think Avon or Tupperware)- and in order to get more people interested, she put a piece of paper with the logo of the item she was trying to sell on her wind chime weight.

To this day she will also write the names of pets that have passed onto some of the weights of her wind chimes. That way, she will see the names as she walks by every day, and she also feels that their spirit and remembrance of them is kept alive whenever the chime rings.

So there is a lot of possibility for magix here. Here is how I went about it recently.

I found a furin chime at a local thrift store, but the paper weight at the bottom was missing and the cordage that you hang the wind chime by was completely filled with dry rot from the AZ sun. No worries! I can combine sigil magix and knot/thread magix and create something that is even better!

Here are the supplies needed:

string, paper, furin and tape

I selected a piece of paper that I wanted to use for the weight. I folded it into a narrower shape, which is typical for furin, and on the inside I wrote my sigil. You could just as easily write in plain English whatever it is you’d like to attract to you, or you could draw a picture- any and all work. I used to write out different stuff a couple times a year and switch out what was hanging as the weight.

The inside of the weight.

Because the weight is folded and taped together, you could even stick herbs or coins or whatever else you wanted inside. But I fold up the paper, tape it closed and cut a small hole for the string to go through. I then take my string (I use multiple strands because AZ is violent towards threads and dry rot is a pain) and braid it up. While braiding, I focus on what I want to achieve. I then attach it to the clapper inside of the bell.

And because this chime’s hanging string was all messed up, I do a braid for that as well.

Finished Wind chime

Finished!

And once its all said and done, I hang it outside so that it can ring and attract what I want to me!

Red Rose Magix

The Red Rose Curse is something that I swiped from someone else, actually. I saw it posted on Tumblr and I decided I had to give it a go. I already had someone in mind, so I figured it’d be an awesome experiement.

To read the original Red Rose Curse, go here. I recommend you take a look at it before continuing on, otherwise this might not make any sense. So the main ingredients are as follows:

a white rose, jar and red paint

The original curse calls for a white rose, a jar and red paint. However, you could easily spice this jar up with other things- herbs or nails or what have you- to make the jar more inhospitable to the person its aimed towards. For my own jar, I ended up painting the tip of the stem black, which has had an effect on the curse’s progression. In the original curse, its said that you could remove the curse by breaking the jar. So initially, I had considered putting things in the jar that I might remove or reuse later- because I thought the rose would dry up and die.

Oh no.

Do not put anything in this jar that you want to use later. Just trust me on this. You likely won’t want to re-open this jar later, either. It gets nasty.

The rose painted and in its jar- the very first night.

I was sure to cover every surface possible of the rose, even pushing my paintbrush down into the petals. It took a bit, and the rose got a little beat up for it- but I think it was worth it.

And here is a few days later:

And another week later:

Three weeks in:

Current (as of publishing this post) condition:

As you can see, it gets very very nasty looking, and the black sharpie on the stem has created a nice black liquid for the rose to fester in. So the idea of reusing something from this jar is probably not advised.

I suppose the main question you want answered is: “Is this working?” It appears to be. I did a version of this curse on the astral as well, as it is against an astral entity that I’ve placed it against, and it has seemed to make him even more batshit than he was before.

So in short? Yes.

I will continue to post updates about this curse on my Tumblr, which you can see here.

 

KRT: The Little People

This week’s topic is: You Don’t Have to be a “Big-Name Pagan” to be a Trend-Setter and Enact Greater Change in the Kemetic community.

I’ve always been a firm believer that little things add up. A common discussion I have with people about little things adding up relates to the dollar charity donations you make at the grocery store. To illustrate the point (politics aside), I always ask people- how valuable is a dollar? Most people don’t think a dollar does anything. But when you consider the dollar charities at stores and how many people traipse through those stores every day- imagine how much that single dollar adds up.

Think about it- if you and everyone in a major metropolitan area (let’s go with a nice round number of a million people) donated just one dollar per month (so $12/year) to a charity- that could easily be $12 million in one year.

You can do a lot with that.

And that’s how I try to frame a lot of my experiences, especially when I get into the line of thinking that my input doesn’t matter. One or two people can create massive change. Or to quote Mulan “One grain of rice can tip the scales. One man may be the difference btwn victory and defeat”.

 

If we want to go into a Kemetic standpoint- look at how sparse our landscape is. Imagine if Tamara hadn’t created KO- where would we be now? Imagine if Reidy hadn’t created Eternal Egypt – where would we go for our rites?

Imagine if both people hadn’t done what they’ve done. How would the landscape differ? How would the actions of a few effect the world we live in now? Especially when you consider how small the Kemetic community is?

If there is anything I want anyone to get from reading this post, its to know that you matter. And that every single. little. thing. you. say. makes a difference- for better or worse. When I hear about someone silencing their voice because other Kemetics beat their thoughts or ideas into the ground, I cry because it’s a such a shame and waste of a valuable member of our community.

Never let others silence you.

Which brings me to one of the point questions in the discussion: When you look at the Kemetic community as a whole, what flaws, hindrances, and negative trends do you see at work?

I think I’ve spoken about this at great length in the past (see here, here, here and here for examples), but it bears repeating: Kemetics can be jerks. If there is one flaw that I see in the Kemetic community that bothers me the most, its that many of us are mean and refuse to work together.

Or, in other words, there is no Kemetic community at large.

And if I could ask for improvement to occur in one area- it would be that. That people actually work together and play nice with one another. I would want to see us all leave our egos at the door and to become more mature in our interactions and for the interactions we have to be more civil and productive as a whole.

What are some common, everyday things we as individuals can do to improve the current state of affairs? What suggestions do you have regarding bridging divides between different Kemetic factions and encouraging cooperation toward common goals?

I wrote a basic post about some of the ways we could learn to branch out and expand our community and interfaith work- and I still stand by those ideas. Working on talking amongst ourselves and exchanging ideas btwn one another is one of the best ways to work on building up the community.

Being sure to do so respectfully is key, though. It does no one any good to start flame wars or troll a forum.

Communication and respect are the only ways I see us ever moving forward. And until we can learn to act like adults and discuss like adults, I think we’ll be stuck at our current location.

And as stated in the post linked above, I do believe that the best way to create a more ‘in real life’ Kemetic community is to go out and meet up with other Pagans, or make some sort of impact in the local Pagan community. Give talks and/or workshops. Write articles for local publications. Visit local cons and such. Only by letting people know that Kemeticism even exists will you have the potential for others to reach out to you- and from there to form a community or local presence.

And in that vein, it has to be remembered that we have to keep trying and not give up- even if the task looks daunting. Remember that you bring something to the Kemetic table/community that no one else does, because no one’s experiences are the same as yours. So regardless of whether you have 5 viewers/readers or 859357 viewers/readers, remember that you are important. Being small doesn’t mean that you’re not valuable.

To see the full list of responses to this question, visit the Master List here.

 

How to Survive and Win an Astral Fight

Many times you’ll see articles and posts on the Internet about how dangers the astral can be. However, I have yet to see any full guides on methods to keeping your ass safe or alive if you enter into a confrontation while traveling on the astral. Now, as always- I wouldn’t recommend you running around and picking fights willy nilly, but sometimes it can’t be helped. Sometimes, an entity finds you, and its not leaving until it has dug its nails into you. So if this happens- what do you do? That’s what this guide is hoping to accomplish.

Keep in mind that no two fights on the astral are the same. Depending on where you’re at and the enemy/ies you’re up against- the mechanics, physics and other circumstances of your fight could vary. This guide is not meant to be exhaustive or definitive- it is merely some tips and guidelines that I have found useful and effective during my stay on the astral. As with everything of this nature, there is a huge YMMV disclaimer attached.

So let’s get to it, shall we?

1. Get Calm and Stay Calm

The number one rule during a fight is to calm down. Whenever I find myself in a dangerous situation, the first thing I do is take a deep breath- followed by another and another. Taking the time to calm down can help for a variety of reasons. It can allow you ascertain your location and how many enemies you’re up against. Being calm allows you to think clearly and break out of potential bindings or illusion magix that could be enacted against you. I have found that being calm can make or break your ability to win a fight.

2. Break Out of the Box

Many times, we have a bad habit of placing limitations on ourselves. On the by and large, the astral is as expansive as anything you can come up with (there are exceptions- such as realms with mechanics that are similar to living here). So when you come into a fight- don’t limit yourself. Try anything and everything that you can come up with.

Like a sword you saw in a game once? Manifest it in your hands. Want to use a bow and arrow? Why not make your arrows explode on contact. Perhaps you’d rather have a flaming whip of doom, or something more sparkly- like glitter that explodes when it touches something. Or perhaps you’d like to change the form you take- try something that is less solid, such as smoke or fire.

Anything you can think up- you can almost always create (sans exceptions listed above). And you’ll never know what you can create until you try.

3. Remember Mind Over Matter

In order for this to really work, you will likely need to be calm. Many times in the astral, wounds don’t always take the same way that they do in the physical realm. Also, its entirely possible to take more damage than you would initially expect because we are used to rules of the physical realm that we live in. In order to maximize your ability to kick butt and stay safe, you have to remember “mind over matter”. Many times, if your will and mind are strong and able, you can withstand things that you would not normally be able to. Enemies could find certain magix don’t work as well as they should, and you might find that certain attacks don’t hurt you as much as they could. You might also find that you are able to heal your wounds instantly, which can come in handy! Remember that you are likely in a non-physical plane, in a non-physical body. So the rules will be different- so long as your mind can keep them in mind.

4. Do Not Talk Excessively / Do Not Show Your Entire Hand

Whenever you come across someone you’ve never met on the astral and they want to fight you, be sure to not talk excessively- or if you do, make sure that your words don’t contain information that can be used against you (or you can flat out lie, which works, too). It took me a while to learn how sometimes the simplest of things can be used against you. Be sure to never show your entire hand right away- don’t pull out your biggest guns if you don’t have to. Don’t share your name, your residence- none of that stuff- as it can potentially used against you (now or later). If I had to do things over, I would have talked a lot less to certain shady people I’ve met during my time on the astral.

5. Break Free of Gravity

Gravity is something that we’re so used to, we often forget that it’s not a rule of the astral (on most planes- not all). We also get so used to mundane things such as only walking or running that we forget that neither is mandatory Over There. Work on learning to float, fly, or “flash step” (also called shunpo for you Bleach fans). Don’t forget that sometimes the ground isn’t solid, either. Many times I find that I’m getting into fights in space that is more or less nothing but darkness. Often times, I can force my way through the ground and “drop down” a few levels- almost like riding an invisible elevator. This breaks the line of attack for the aggressor and can buy me time to run away or perform my own attacks.

Hopefully some of these ideas will be helpful in getting your mind going with different possibilities you can use while on the astral to stay safe. Don’t be afraid to practice when you are not under attack, and don’t be afraid to try new things- even on the fly! Sometimes the stress or adrenaline of the situation can cause us to come up with things we would have never considered otherwise. And as stated above, you’ll never know what you can do unless you give it a shot.

 

KRT: Feeling Inadequate

This round of the Kemetic Round Table deals with inadequacy, and how we should handle those feelings if and when they arrive. Once upon a time, I used to feel inadequate in regards to my religious practice. Many of the people I talked to described feeling the same thing as me. We all felt like we should be doing more with our practices. We all felt like we were being called to do bigger and better things- although we had no clue what those ‘things’ were supposed to be.

And at the time, we dubbed this feeling “The Itch”.

Most of use with “The Itch” spent lots of time rolling around on the ground holding our heads trying to figure out what to do with ourselves. We had all hoped that possibly a temple opening up, or working on daily rites, or becoming more ‘priestly’ in our practices would somehow cure it. But none of that worked for me.

What worked for me was finding my niche. My place. My role within this large thing called Kemeticism.

If you recall my last KRT post, you’ll see that a large portion of my practice involves community. And as soon as I really began to work with the community and found that my role within all of this is more centered around my blogging and writing- a lot of my worries and concerns fell to the wayside. And above all, I found that my ‘itchiness’ disappeared. Compounded with this has been my astral work that has taken off. I’ve found that through doing a lot of my shadow work, I’ve managed to clear up a lot of issues and I no longer feel like I’m some horribly bad devotee to the gods. I feel like I’m actually doing what I’m supposed to be doing (which is seemingly spending up all my spoons paddling my canoe around).

So now you may be asking – So what do I do if I feel inadequate?

The first answer to this is simple- don’t worry so much. I know it is easier said than done, but truth be told- most of us have our ups and downs while working on this whole religion thing. The gods have survived this long without us- it’ll be okay if you’re not Johnny on the spot with your offerings when your life gets too hectic and you’ve run out of spoons. As always, remember that slow and steady wins the race. So long as you are putting forth the effort to try and get things done- that is always a good place to start.

If you’ve got a steady practice going, but find that you’re still having issues with feeling inadequate, I would recommend you try to branch out into other areas and ways to bring you closer to your religion. This doesn’t have to be in large, grandiose ways. In fact, I find that simple, smaller things can make all the difference in the world. Offer your meals to the gods in lieu of offerings given during rites. Turn showers into cleansing rites. Admire the sun’s rays or Shu’s soft breezes, etc. Find ways to bring yourself closer to the gods, and the gods closer to you.

In this same vein, I would recommend learning to figure out how ma’at plays into your life and discovering whatever it is that brings you balance. I think the largest aspect for my inadequacy leaving me is that I learned how to be balanced – or at least, what balance means for me (still working on achieving consistent balance). Balance can fill in a lot of holes we didn’t even realize we had.

Unfortunately, the down side to this is that no one can tell you exactly how to do any of these things. These things are different for each of us and can take quite some time to figure out, but figuring them out can make all of the difference in the world.

 

The Art of Breaking New Ground

Alternate Title: Boiling Frogs

We Pagans (or Polytheists or whatever name we wish to call ourselves) fancy ourselves a group of fairly open-minded individuals. I mean, why wouldn’t we be open minded? We worship gods that have animal heads and walk around sporting boners for the lols. We talk about spirits and otherkin and magic and gods know what else- things that would get us some strange looks if we were to talk with non-Pagan type folks (like our coworkers).

However, for all of our supposed open mindedness, our “community” is filled with a lot of close minded people.

This is especially true in the Kemetic community.

And truth be told, I don’t think many of us realize how close minded we can be, but for someone who is attempting to break new ground, it is so apparent that it’s amazing that it could be missed at all.

Allow me to speak from my own experience.

When I first got into the Kemetic/Pagan scene, I quickly established myself as a fairly recon-slanted person. I love research. I love history. I love a foot thick academic book with the driest language you can muster (I jest. I think). And because this was my approach, I fit into the community at large (well, sorta. Okay, not really, but still). But then….

but then

Then the crack set in.

I’ve mentioned in multiple posts now that crack has been a part of my life for years now. But it eventually hit such astronomical levels that I could no longer ignore it anymore. I could no longer, in good conscience, talk about my religious practice and not bring it up. Its too much a part of my life, my gods, my practice to leave it out. But despite the fact that Kemetics worship gods with animal heads, and talk about books that involve spells for not eating your own feces, lakes of fire, and demons with heads on backwards- it seems that crack and woo-woo are distinctly not a part of the religious landscape.

Well that’s a conundrum, now isn’t it.

I fretted and worried what to do. Osiris came to me and mandated that I finish my Cycle posts before the Mysteries ended. He would not take no for an answer. I hummed and hawed over those posts for 6 months, people. Six. Months. Think on that for a moment. And why did I fret and worry?

Because Kemetics are narrow minded. Simple as that.

I am not the first Kemetic to note on the inability to discuss woo-woo related items in this community. Its been brought up multiple times over on eCauldron that it’s almost a death sentence to admit that you might actually have a type of practice that is less than recon (or “normal” aka no crack, no woo-woo). And once you’ve come out of the closet about your crack addiction, well all of your statements are no longer valid, because you’re one of those kinds of Kemetics.

So how does one reconcile a deity who tells you “Do this or I make you miserable” and Kemetics who think you’re completely nuts for even suggesting they take your crack seriously?

Well, the simple solution would be for all of us to open our minds up and try to humor new ideas and possibilities, instead of nay-saying anything that doesn’t fit into our little happy box of “what is real and what isn’t”.

But let’s face it- that ain’t happening anytime soon. We can’t even agree on some of the basics, let alone woo-woo stuff. So what do you do?

You break ground, or as a friend of mine calls it- you boil frogs. You slowly bring people into your crack addiction, showing little by little just how deep the rabbit hole might be going- and gauge whether your audience can take it. I did it by slowly introducing magix guides, and then the river and Cycle posts, and now I’m continuing to bring out little bits and pieces of my hidden crack addiction in an effort to show other Kemetics that hey, this stuff does exist. And it could happen to you, and that’s okay- you’re not alone in it.

I think that these types of things- these ground breaking issues need to be discussed. They need to be brought up, and we need to keep an open mind to them. Even though many of us aren’t recon-slanted in our practices, we seem to believe that Cheetos to a god is an okay move away from history, but the idea that a deity might shove you into a oil filled pit and tell you to climb is too far away from antiquity. And that, my friends, is utter bollocks. How can we draw such arbitrary lines? I mean, these are gods we are talking about. And the Unseen could be as big as the universe itself, and we’d never even know it. Who are we to dictate what is real and what isn’t- especially when you consider the very nature of our religion.

So how can we fix the issue of breaking ground? I think that two things need to happen.

First, if you are the person breaking the ground, you will be best served by knowing your shit. According to the people I talk to, what makes my crack somewhat believable is that I know what is crack, and I know what isn’t. I know more than my UPG. I know what was typical historically. I know how the ancients did it. I’ve read up on my religion, its history. I can draw the line for you where old meets new, where orthodox meets cray cray. Knowing where this line lies is very beneficial. Beyond that, making sure that the crack you lay out for others to see is well written and thought out will also help others to be open to your ideas. And in my case, I started slow in my revealing of said crack. As the name of this post shows- I boiled everyone I interacted with slowly. And in time, people have gotten used to my weirdness, and it’s become a bit of an accepted part of talking with me. In addition to this, I recommend determining early on what your goal is in discussing your less than orthodox experiences. Knowing why you do something often helps in working through doubters and the often nerve wracking experience that is breaking new ground.

As for the second part- that lays in those reading the material. We all need to ensure that we are reading with an open mind. Discernment is important- to be sure – because there are some situations where it could very well be mental illness, attention mongering, or fake entities at play (among other things). However, discernment isn’t the same as being narrow minded and shooting down someone before they’ve even had a chance to get out of the gate. We as a community need to make sure that we are doing our best to keep an open mind, and also politely calling out those who might be doing a less than stellar job at keeping their minds open.

I guess you could say that it boils down to that respect thing, again. Respect the fact that someone might very well have been thrown down a crack-laden rabbit hole by the gods, and that it can technically happen to you. And at the end of the day, we all need to work on figuring out how to help each other break new ground and new territory, because we need these things in order to continue to grow as a community and a religion. Without new ideas and thoughts (crazy as they may seem at first), we are sure to stagnate and die.

Relevant Posts:

• Places & Purposes
• We Can Learn A Lot From the Things That Annoy Us
• F is for Familiarity