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True of Voice

We are often raised with fundamental “truths” that are established by our caregivers. These truths are bestowed upon us from the moment we are born, and they are reinforced regularly so long as you are around those people. Sometimes, these truths are healthy, accurate, and useful to us. Things like “you are loved by your parents” or “the world is safe” or “you can rely on your caregivers” are truths we all want to be instilled within us within the first few months of being born. This is because the truths that are given to you at that tender age will often play a significant role in how other aspects of your Self are formed and defined.

However, if you are like I am, you were raised with a lot of less-than-healthy truths. Truths that I would be willing to wager you speak to yourself everyday. This is a post about heka and truths, and how abuse distorts our truth, and therefore our heka. This post will discuss many aspects of verbal abuse, so this is a massive CW/TW to anyone who could find these topics upsetting or unbearable at the moment. Please proceed ahead with caution.

Before I dive fully into this, I want to talk about what I mean by “truths.” In this case, I’m talking about any bit of information that we have been taught or learned and have then internalized and have now accepted, without any question, that this information is the honest-to-goodness truth. Truths of this nature may be good or bad, accurate or inaccurate, depending on what you’ve experienced in your life. Many of us are carrying around a lot of systemic truths that are perpetuated by our culture. Many of us are carrying around a lot of abusive truths that were pushed on us by our immediate family. Both types of truths often feed into one another, wherein the truths given to you by your family are reinforced by your surrounding culture and vice versa. Of course, the “truths” that hurt us are false, but they often feel very very true, even if we don’t necessarily realize it, so when I am using the phrase “false truth”, what I am meaning is a truth that is unhealthy for us, a lie that has been sold to us as truth. You’ll see me using “trauma” pretty regularly alongside “false truth” because you’re most likely to receive false and unhealthy truths from abusive people and traumatic situations.

So let’s get into it.


The worst part about how humans develop is how long it takes our brains to finish developing. It doesn’t help that our brains are something like “a sports car that has been given to a three year old,” especially because these sports cars take about 25 years to finish growing, and if you experience any sort of trauma or abuse before those 25 years are up, you’re more likely to have that trauma hardwired into your sense of self. Which means you’ve got 25 years to learn a lot of garbage that you then have to unlearn again in order to be healthy. Although most of us consider ourselves to be very objective and rational and removed from silly things like ideas we absorbed in childhood and never really outgrew, the truth of the matter is that most of us have a lot of ideas we absorbed in childhood and never really outgrew. If we were all truly rational and capable of removing ourselves from emotional hard wiring, cognitive dissonance wouldn’t be a thing, nor would racism. The cold hard truth of the matter is, we are not separate from our emotions, and our emotions can cause us to lie to ourselves regularly in order to protect our sense of self. It takes constant and diligent work to push back against our own ability to lie to ourselves.

The cherry on top of the “takes 25 years to finish growing” thing is that that some of the most important years for our development are the first few years. How you are raised by your caregivers will usually determine core aspects of how you view the world. Whether you think the world is a safe place or not, whether you feel nurtured and loved or abandoned, whether you can trust people or not. If your parents manage to mess up the first five years of your life, you usually will have resulting mental health work that needs to happen once you’re an adult. To quote someone who has done more work in this field than I have:

When parents do not provide safe enough bonding and positive feedback, the child flounders in anxiety and fear. Many children appear to be hard-wired to adapt to this endangering abandonment with perfectionism. A prevailing climate of danger forces the child’s superego to over-cultivate the various programs of perfectionism and endangerment listed below. Once again, the superego is the part of the psyche that learns parental rules (read: truths) in order to gain their acceptance.

The inner critic is the superego gone bad. The inner critic is the superego in overdrive desperately trying to win your parents approval. When perfectionist driving fails to win welcoming from your parents, the inner critic becomes increasingly hostile and caustic. It festers into a virulent inner voice that increasingly manifests self-hate, self-disgust, and self-abandonment.

The inner critic blames you incessantly for shortcomings that it imagines to be the cause of your parents rejection. It is incapable of understanding that the real cause lies in your parents’ shortcomings. The critic-driven child can only think about the ways they are too much or not enough.

The child’s unfolding sense of self (the healthy ego) finds no room to develop. Their identity virtually becomes the critic. The superego trumps the ego. In this process, the critic becomes increasingly virulent and eventually switches from the parents’ internalized voice: “You’re bad” to the first person: “I’m bad”.

You can see some of these false truths that many of us get saddled with in the quote above. Core ideas about whether you’re lovable or not, whether you’re fundamentally good or not, whether you can trust people or yourself — all of these things take root in your first few years. All of these truths will play into how you behave towards others, how you behave towards yourself, etc.

There is a saying that always reminds me of heka: it’s like playing a guitar, everyone can do it poorly, and only a handful of people can do it well.

The best and the worst parts about heka is that it is something that is very accessible to everyone, and we all have the ability to utilize our words, our body language, our actions to influence the world around us. In antiquity, we have stories of the lowest classes of society being able to bring the king into a swoon because their heka was that good. We’ve got stories of gods changing key aspects of the cosmos with their fine-tuned heka. It is everywhere, and it is free for the utilizing if you want to.

But its best selling point is also its downfall. Everyone can utilize heka, and everyone does utilize heka whether they realize it or not. It’s very easy to have the subtle, abusive heka of your childhood manifesting in the very heka you use as an adult. It’s so easy to carry false truths in our words, and it can be very hard to unroot those truths from our minds.

If the very things we tell ourselves daily are not true, how can we really know that we are true in our voice, or that our voice is carrying truth upon it? Humans often engage in daily dialogue that is based off of these falsehoods we were raised to believe as truth, and I can’t help but wonder how it influences the very heka we construct, and by extension, how we construct the world around us. I mentioned in my inertia post that people often behave based off of their expectations, and if our inner dialogue expects us to eternally suck, then how will our heka have any truly lasting power? If you’re getting in your own way before you’ve even tried, how can you hope to succeed?

There are many ways to un-knot false truths that are stuck in our minds. The path to fixing such things is not straightforward or easy. For most of us, we don’t have the resources to really tackle these issues head-on in a way that makes the work timely. Gods know that I have regressed on this issue many times in the past, and will likely regress many times again in the future due to lack of resources and fucks to give. However, that doesn’t mean that the work shouldn’t still be done, even if it will be a grueling task along the way. This post is less about solutions (I could write those posts in time, if people wanted them), and more about opening the table for discussion, so if you’ve got thoughts, I welcome them.

When you look at the things you tell yourself, the truths you have been fed throughout your life, how many of them are true? How many of them feel true, but probably aren’t? How do these things influence your daily life? Do you think it influences your heka? And of course, most importantly, when you do come across these false truths, do you want to do something about them? Why or why not?

 

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May Execration Rubric

I have learned through the first four months of the year that I did not plan out my first execration rubric very well. I didn’t really allot any sort of indication of where to place implements, whether this should be done in a shrine space or elsewhere, nor did I incorporate any sort of instruction if you wanted to burn things outside, and how that fits into the overall ritual scheme.

So this time, I have included more instructions for how I specifically go through the ritual motions in my typical execrations. You don’t necessarily have to do the ritual in the exact same manner that I do (because some of you may not have a safe outside space to even do an execration), but for my own sanity, I needed to include these steps in order to remember what I’m doing.

This ritual typically starts outside for me. I then set up a place to lay my implements down so that I have easy access to them during the ritual. For example:

After that, I actually start the ritual itself. I do the first part of the ritual where I slay the poop and then set everything on fire. I then move inside and wash my hands before I move over to the shrine space to finish giving accolades and offerings to the gods. I will then return afterwards to clean out my execration pot and return it to its usual living space, though this is not noted in the rubric.

Again, you don’t have to follow this particular method, I’m mostly putting it in for my own sake.

I also have found that I tend to prefer repeating one or two short phrases over and over again while destroying my piece of paper, because I find it really distracting to try and read a rubric and do ritual actions at the same time (I need a lector priest.) So I’ve reordered some of the words to be said while destroying a/pep based off of what made more sense to me (for example, moving fire to the end of the list, so that I can actually set the paper on fire while talking about setting it on fire.) And you’re welcome to try and read all of it while doing the ritual actions, read it before or after ritual actions, or just repeat a small portion of it while doing ritual actions. Again, nothing is set in stone.


Be seated Great Gods, in the presence of Geb, the chiefest of the netjeru
For I am Horus, with ma’at upon my brow.
Aset bore me, Khebet raised me, Set served me over and above his own powers,
and Osiris has given me both of his staffs as proof of my Power.
I am at the Head of the Enneads. I am at the head of my father, and at the head of the living.
I have taken control of the Two Lands as Horus the Lord of Justice,
and I stop the movements of those who threaten the netjeru or their followers.

I have come to you, O gate-keeper of the battleground of the gods,
who wards off the evil ones.
To whom the wardens of the fields open up.
O Gatekeeper, open the gates for me,
For I am he-of-the-sharp-knife who went out into the day,
and I have power over my foes.
I have come, a way has been given to me,
I have control of my foot, I have power in my legs,
I have come out into the day against my foe,
I have power over him, as He-whose-shape-is-invisible commanded.
My magic is in my ritual incantations,
I am watchful and weighty, so no one can oppose me. Even a/pep.
I have not come forth unprepared. I have brought my staff, my sandals and my arrows.
So that I may sever the necks and cut off the heads of our foes on this day.

O you whom I have seen from afar,
I shut your eye, for I have bound you.
I am one great in magic which I have sent forth against you.
I have gone off with your strength in my hand, for I am he who displays strength.
I have come that I may take care of the NTRW
As Re and his Eye will it, for they have power over him in every respect.

*Take up your piece of paper, this is where you get to yell at it, stomp on it, tear it up, light it on fire, etc. Follow the prompts in the rubric or do what you feel. Get cathartic.*

Get back a/pep, get back you rebel of Ra
O Bowel, be destroyed before Ra, for I know the evil that you create.
The knife of the execution-block is in your flesh!
Taste the cutting of the Great God!
Your head is cut off! Your body is cut into pieces! You are powerless against my Effectiveness!
Be spat upon oh enemy of ma’at!
Feel the weight of my legs as my foot crushes your body.
Flames cut into your face! Fire consumes your soul!

Wither and rot from the magic in my mouth!
Be put to the fire and be destroyed! Be fallen and crushed!
Thoth’s fingers are in your eyes and his magic has laid hold of you.
Your form is annihilated, your shape is destroyed in all of its places and forms.
You are rendered impotent, your soul does not exist.
Your seat does not exist. Your children do not exist.
You are utterly destroyed in every place.

__

I am this one, invisible of form, in the midst of the sunshine,
I entered into the fray, I have come forth from the fray
the ill-disposed one has not pierced me,
the enemy has not burnt me,
mine is the knife which cuts down any who threaten the NTRW.
I have fed him to the Eye, and the Glorious Eye has parched him.
She has consumed his soul, his spirit, his body, his shadow, and his magic.
For your arm is that of Horus the Great One,
and the Sacred Eye has power.

Hail the Company of the NTRW!
I have come and slain a/pep. I have taken away the heart of the Ill-Disposed One.
I have put rejoicing back in the Barque of Millions.
The hearts of the crew of Re are rejoicing within their shrines,
The souls of the gods are at peace on the double horizon.
Re is triumphant over his foes! As he is triumphant, I am triumphant!

Come you NTRW,
Come in peace and look upon what I have done to a/pep.
His house is destroyed, his wall is ruined, his body destroyed.
Your heavens are established and your cities are firmly rooted.
The Two Lands are in joy, and the hearts of all of the NTRW are glad
for a/pep has fallen into the fire.
All of the foes of all of the NTRW are fallen.
All of the NTRW are triumphant over their enemies.
I stand behind the NTRW and make their arms strong
so that their enemies may be destroyed, as I have on this day.

Presentation of Light:

*Turn on light or light candle, etc.*

As disorder is removed and Order restored,
the Glorious Eye of Horus shines like Ra on the double horizon.
Your word is ma’at, by reason of your Eye, whole and pure.
The Eye of Horus destroys all of the enemies of the
Two Lands in all of their places.
The beauty of the Eye of Horus shines Glorious and Complete.

Presentation of Libations:

Greetings to you, primordial water
You, the father of the gods.

*Pour the libation into a cup or bowl*

This libation is for you, O you Gods,
Your water is yours, your flood is yours, being abundant.
Raise yourself, receive these waters from me, your servant.
I pour for you the primordial water to satisfy your statue;
I have brought you this Eye of Horus and placed it at your feet.
So that you may renew your youth in peace.

Presentation of Food:

The slaughterhouse of the NTRW is full.
I have acted on behalf of my lord,
Lord of the Slaughter, who-sits-upon-his-oil-barque,
To provide you with the hearts of your enemies.

*place offerings on shrine/altar*

Their bones are beneath your feet.
Their voices are silent.
Their names are unknown.
They do not exist.

Offering Ma’at:

I have placed your foes to the fire and Ma’at triumphs in your space.
I have removed falsehood in your time,
I have come that I may raise up Ma’at for you,
For it is what gladdens you, I wish to gladden you with what you desire.
I have smitten, subdued and felled your foes for you,
I have given you vindication in the Two Lands
And in so doing, I have established joy in the Two Enneads,
For after any sorrow, joy must return as ma’at is re-established.
I have set a fond remembrance of you throughout the land,
I have placed the love of you in the hearts of the people in service of you.
May the NTRW be satisfied with what I have done.

Behold that ma’at has become the fiery Eye of Horus.
Her exacting justice has cast out the rebels
And her magics were exacting in the bodies of your foes.
Your ma’at is for you, O Great Gods,
She is in front of you, She emerges from your lips, She cuts your tongue.
She lifts you up high upon your seat.
Ma’at is in every place that is yours,
Thoth, the One who is Great of Magic, makes protection for you
And overthrows your enemies.
Ma’at is established throughout your Domain, truly twice established.
She resides in your heart for eternity.
Have peace and flourish through Her for all eternity.

Reverting the Offerings:

O NTRW, your enemies withdraw from you.
Heru has turned himself to his Eye in its name of
Reversion-of-Offerings.
These your divine offerings revert;
They revert to your servants for life, stability, health and joy.
So that you may flourish for eternity.

 
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Posted by on May 22, 2019 in Kemeticism, Year of Rites

 

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Year of Rites: January Execration Rubric

Since the multi-day festival for Ptah ends on the 28th, I figured I would weave him into my execration goings on. If you’d rather insert a different deity in this rite, you could, or you could generalize it to encompass all of the NTRW.

This execration involves some sort of effigy that you’d want to prepare ahead of time. I will likely be using a paper effigy, but you’re welcome to use other stuff if you’d prefer. I haven’t written specific ritual actions for destroying the effigy in this situation, because I’d rather people focus on the cathartic release than specifically following the actions that are laid out in the text of the rubric.

That being said, there are actions that are laid out in the text off the rubric, and you’re welcome to time your ritual actions with said text.

After the execration portion is done, a more succinct version of the usual offering structure follows, so you’ll need all of the usual trappings as you would in a normal ritual setting (candle, libations, offerings, ma’at.)

Now go smite that isfet.


In honor of the Heart and Tongue of the Ennead,
He, the father who made Atum, who gave birth to Atum,
Whose Heart makes the Gods and the People understand the way of ma’at.
I stand behind you as you stand behind me.
I go before you, as Wpwt goes before you,
To find and annihilate all of the enemies, seen and unseen.
I go out as Horus of Edfu, Lord of the bow and arrows,
And send my arrows out into the pupils of our enemies,
So that nobody hostile remains in your Retinue.
I give you the Nine Bows as prisoners,
O you who knows how to entrap the Nine Bows.
I ensure that your enemies are on the ground,
So that you can trample them with the soles of your sandals.

O you who knows how to make things Become,
I perform this act in your Name so that your enemies shall fall,
and ma’at may spring forth renewed in peace.
Hear me with both of your ears!
See me with both of your eyes!
Place your merciful face upon me and witness
the destruction of the foe of Ra!

For I have come to fell him, the foe of Ra.
To destroy his name, and to chastise his name and magic!
O he who is imprisoned in the arms of Aker,
Whose face is cut away because of what he has done,
and who suffers for his evil character.
He who has neither arms nor legs and is constrained to one space,
As Re and his Eye will it, for they have power over him in every respect.

*Take up your piece of paper, this is where you get to yell at it, stomp on it, tear it up, light it on fire, etc. Follow the prompts in the rubric or do what you feel. Get cathartic.*

Get back a/pep, get back you rebel of Ra
O Bowel, be destroyed before Ra, for I know the evil that you create.
Be spat upon oh enemy of ma’at!
Feel the weight of my legs as my foot crushes your body.
Your head is cut off! Your body is cut into pieces! You are powerless against my Effectiveness!
Flames cut into your face! Fire consumes your soul!
The knife of the execution-block is in your flesh!
Taste the cutting of the Great God!

Wither, wither! Languish, languish from the magic in my mouth!
Be put to the fire and be destroyed! Be fallen and crushed!
Thoth’s fingers are in your eyes and his magic has laid hold of you.
Your form is annihilated, your shape is destroyed in all of its places and forms.
You are rendered impotent, your soul does not exist.
Your seat does not exist. Your children do not exist.
You are utterly destroyed in every place.

Hail Ptah! Hail Re! Hail Atum! Hail the Company of the NTRW!
I have come and slain a/pep. I have taken away the heart of the Ill-Disposed One.
I have put rejoicing back in the Barque of Millions.
The hearts of the crew of Re are rejoicing within their shrines,
The souls of the gods are at peace on the double horizon.
Re is triumphant over his foes! As he is triumphant, I am triumphant!

O my father, Lord of the Gods, Greatest of the Ennead,
first primeval one, who created men, after whose coming into being all beings came into being.
I am truly the son of your heart. Divine is my heart, which issued forth from you.
The world rejoices when you appear, and magic is your protection.
Come O Ra, Come O Ptah, Come you NTRW,
Come in peace and look upon what I have done to a/pep.
His house is destroyed, his wall is ruined, his body destroyed.
Your heavens are established and your cities are firmly rooted.
The Two Lands are in joy, and the hearts of all of the NTRW are glad
for a/pep has fallen into the fire.
All of the foes of all of the NTRW are fallen.
All of the NTRW are triumphant over their enemies.
I stand behind the NTRW and make their arms strong
so that their enemies may be destroyed, as I have on this day.

Presentation of Light:

*Turn on light or light candle, etc.*

As disorder is removed and Order restored,
the Glorious Eye of Horus awakes in peace.
Be strong and renew your youth in peace.
You shine like Ra on the double horizon.
Your word is ma’at, by reason of your Eye, whole and pure.
The Eye of Horus destroys all of the enemies of the
Two Lands in all of their places.
The beauty of the Eye of Horus shines Glorious and Complete.

Presentation of Libations:

Greetings to you, primordial water
You, the father of the gods.

*Pour the libation into a cup or bowl*

This libation is for you, O Lords of Ma’at, come drink it.
Take the vase filled with the emanations of your ka; it is what comes out of you
I pour for you the primordial water to satisfy your statue;
your heart is revived by the waters of youth
I have brought you this Eye of Horus and placed it at your feet.
So that you may renew your youth in peace.

Presentation of Offerings to the Gods:

The slaughterhouse of the NTRW is full.
I have acted on behalf of my lord,
Lord of the Slaughter, who-sits-upon-his-oil-barque,
To provide you with the hearts of your enemies.

*place offerings on shrine/altar*

Their bones are beneath your feet.
Their voices are silences.
Their names are unknown.
They do not exist.

Offering Ma’at:

I have removed falsehood in your time,
Ma’at triumphs in your space.
I have delivered to you the Four Pillars of your Domain.
May the NTRW be satisfied with what I have done.
I have brought Order out of Chaos.
I have made your Domain flourish like Zep Tepi
through the precepts of ma’at.
I have established you within your Domain.
I raise the sky for you,
the horizon is high,
the sky is firm on its four pillars.

Your ma’at is for you, O Great Gods,
She is in front of you, She emerges from your lips, She cuts your tongue.
Your heart lives when she rises before you.
Ma’at comes to you, in all of her radiance.
Your heart is glad when she appears before you.
She has come so that she may be with you.
Ma’at is in every place that is yours,
So that you may rest upon her.
Ma’at has taken her position within your shrine.
Thoth, the One who is Great of Magic, makes protection for you
And overthrows your enemies.
Ma’at is established throughout your Domain, truly twice established.
She resides in your heart for eternity.
Have peace and flourish through Her for all eternity.

Reverting the Offerings:

O NTRW, your enemies withdraw from you.
Heru has turned himself to his Eye in its name of
Reversion-of-Offerings.
These your divine offerings revert;
They revert to your servants for life, stability, health and joy.
So that you may flourish for eternity.

 

 
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Posted by on January 27, 2019 in Kemeticism, Year of Rites

 

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New Years 2019 Rubric

I’ve finally finished putting together the rubric for my first rite in the Year of Rites. Since I said I’d post any rubrics I made up here on WP, I’m posting this here for others to reference if they’d like!

For this New Year, I plan on giving offerings around sunrise, since that’s when I make my breakfast. The first ritual will consist of opening the shrine, purifying the shrine with water, pouring libations, giving offerings, and using heka to build the NTRW a brand new body for the year of 2019.

Later in the day I will be performing a red pot execration with a few other people, which I will then give a second round of offerings and recitations at the shrine afterwards to establish ma’at after the execration is done. The second half includes an offering specifically of oranges, because oranges are in season right now, and are highly associated with New Year for this part of the country. Oranges also have a very solar quality to them, which i felt was fitting for a New Years offering. If oranges are not on the docket, I recommend offering something in multiples of four, to keep the Four Pillars association intact.


Approaching the Shrine:

Awake in peace, great gods, awake in peace.
I come to you, your servant, your son, I come to you.
Your beautiful scent, it calls me forward.
And upon you filling my nostrils
I, your servant, your son, I come to you.
I have made my way and I enter into your presence.
I am one of you.
Do not repulse me on the god’s path.
My feet are not impeded, I am not turned back from the court of the great portal
so that I may conduct the divine service,
that I may present offerings to You that made them.

*Step forward, or open the shrine, depending on your setup*

I open your temple on this first birth of the sun of 2019
And as I enter, rage goes forth.
Behold, I have come to you to offer Ma’at,
to make sound the Eye for its lord for this 2019.

Presentation of Light to the gods:

*Turn on light or light candle, etc.*

May you awake in Beauty, O Glorious Eye of Heru.
Be strong and renew your youth in peace.
A new day has dawned, and with it, a new year.
Conceived at night, born every day — a Zep Tepi is at hand.
As the sun rises over the horizon,
Khepri begins his cycle anew,
his eyes see all under the four pillars of the sky.

My eyes are the eyes of Khepri,
Our light shines throughout the land.
My attraction is the attraction of Khepri.
Our attraction shines throughout the land.

Purification of offering space for the gods:

*Take up water bowl/pitcher*

O water, may you remove all evil,
I give you essential water, great gods, a tide in your time.
I bring the flood waters to purify your sanctuary, great gods.
I bring you the flood waters to purify your temple
and your statue in your place.
The primordial water that purifies this Zep Tepi.

*wet your finger and touch the four sides of your shrine, offering table or plate, etc.*

O NTRW, your altar is cleansed by the water;
Your altar is purified by the incense;
You are cleansed by Horus;
You are purified by Thoth.
Water invigorates your body;
It is I, your servant,
who comes to you in the palace
where you reside on this
beautiful New Year’s Day

Presentation of Libations to the Gods:

Greetings to you, primordial water
Greetings to you, O river
Greetings to you, Great Flood,
You, the father of the gods.

*Pour the water into a cup or bowl*

I present to you, Great NTRW
the cup filled with primordial water;
Which has come from the Two Caverns.
I pour the libation to water your face;
May your thirst be quenched.

Presentation of Offerings to the Gods:

I come near you, O venerable gods.
I bring the food and provisions for your subsistence.
Your altars are piled high with offerings of all sorts and forms.
Every follower, every servant, every devotee has come
To bring you the bounty of the land
On the first Zep Tepi of this 2019.

*place offerings on shrine/altar*

I am Hathor, the Lady of Nourishment;
Who multiplies the cakes and gives life
to the one who is faithful to her.
I have brought you nourishment
so that you may Thrive in 2019.
For as you Live, I Live.

As this year is Renewed, so too is your body.
See me as I give you your eyes, installed in their proper place.
I make sure our Light shines bright,
So that you see things hidden in the dark.
Our eyes see all, nothing is hidden from us in our domain
On this morning of this Zep Tepi.

I give you your mouth in order to eat,
Your throat to carry out its work.
I make your voices victorious to the divine tribunal
in the audience chamber,
I lessen the voices of your enemies.

I give you a brave heart to drive away enemies.
A heart guided by ma’at, living off ma’at.
I strengthen your arms
so that you can strike down your enemies.
I give you your regalia,
so that you may have Authority.

As your body forms anew;
You are imbued with Life and Stability;
Glorious and Complete.

Oh NTRW, turn yourself about and see
this servant, this sun, this Lord of Light.
May your merciful face be towards me throughout 2019.
May your face be green throughout 2019.
As your face is green, so too shall mine be green.
As green as a living reed.

I place myself behind you
On each and every day of this 2019
As you place yourself behind me
On each and every day of this 2019.

Oh beneficent NTRW
May ma’at thrive for us
in this upcoming 2019.

Reversion of Offerings:

O NTRW, your enemies withdraw from you.
Heru has turned himself to his Eye in its name of
Reversion-of-Offerings.
These your divine offerings revert;
They revert to your servants for life, stability, health and joy.
So that you may flourish for eternity.


Part 2

Approaching the Shrine:

O Great NTRW,
Turn your face to me, your servant,
and see what I have done for you.

I have taken the mace that brings out your prestige,
your heart is glad to see it.
I have done what I said I would,
I have driven back the rebels.
Those who commit evil have been
delivered to the block.

Presentation of Offerings to the Gods:

The slaughterhouse of the NTRW is full.
I have acted on behalf of my lord,
Lord of the Slaughter, who-sits-upon-his-oil-barque,
To provide you with the hearts of your enemies.

*place offerings on shrine/altar*

Their bones are beneath your feet.
Their voices are silences.
Their names are unknown.
They do not exist.

I have removed falsehood in your time,
Ma’at triumphs in your space.
I have delivered to you the Four Pillars of your Domain.

*place four oranges on the offering plate*

May the NTRW be satisfied with what I have done.
I have brought Order out of Chaos.
I have made your Domain flourish like Zep Tepi
through the precepts of ma’at.
I have established you within your Domain.
I raise the sky for you,
the horizon is high,
the sky is firm on its four pillars.

I offer you this fabric, a pledge to receive a happy new year.
I open the months of the year, its days and its hours.
I make your house for you, under the sky and its four pillars.

Enter. Take your place in this New Year.
Your seat is firm, established for eternity.

Reverting the Offerings:

O NTRW, your enemies withdraw from you.
Heru has turned himself to his Eye in its name of
Reversion-of-Offerings.
These your divine offerings revert;
They revert to your servants for life, stability, health and joy.
So that you may flourish for eternity.

 
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Posted by on December 31, 2018 in Kemeticism, Year of Rites

 

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A Year of Rites

Ever since I moved into my grandmother’s place, I’ve felt the urge to do a daily rite of some kind. I knew that I didn’t want to do the standard daily rites that are common in Kemeticism, because at the time, I wasn’t really eager to see O or Set anytime soon. Since I didn’t know what to do that would be helpful, but not involve my gods, I put the idea on a shelf and went about my business.

Fast forward to November, when O shows up and tells me that he would like me to consider doing successive rituals for the entirety of the following year (2019.) I expected him to try and sell me on how I would benefit from doing this for him, but he really didn’t suggest much. If anything, I think he knew it would tap my ego when it saw a challenge that it wasn’t sure it could hack — but ultimately wants to be able to say was effectively hacked. Almost like doing a thru-hike, you’re doing it partially just to see if you actually can. And so instead of trying to cajole me into doing it, he let me cajole myself into doing it.

And so, in the spirit of seeing if this is something I can actually hack, I give you “A Year of Rites.”

This “Year of Rites” will consist of four rituals per moon cycle, as per O’s original parameters. Each ritual will have its own theme and is placed at specific times within the moon cycle. These themes are then repeated around the same time each moon cycle, creating a sort of monthly rhythm.

So far, here is the general schedule and method that I’ve worked out:

New Moon/Day after New Moon: Monthly Ma’at

I chose to place the Monthly Ma’at rites around the new moon as a means of taking what is essentially a “blank canvas” that is the moon cycle, and infusing it with ma’at from day one. As such, I want to time these rites as close to the New Moon as possible. Here is the tentative schedule for the Monthly Ma’at rites:

Jan 7
Feb 4
Mar 6
April 5
May 6
June 3
July 2
July 31
Aug 30
Sept 30
Oct 28
Nov 26
Dec 26

Full Moon: Propitiation Rites

I am admittedly still a little unclear about what I will be doing for these rites. As I understand it, O would like me to mimic propitiation rites that occurred in antiquity, mainly centered around Sekhmet, Hathor, Khonsu, or Iyrt Ra in general. I think that I will initially start with the longform rite that Reidy wrote for Sekhmet, and see if I can use it as a base to create other rites that I could do for this category.

I chose to perform these rites around full moon due to the references of muuet and other nefarious entities being more prominent in the second half of the moon cycle (Roberts). I felt it best to propitiate the gods that oversee these negative forces before the dark side of the moon even begins to show its face. This is my tentative schedule for these rites:

Jan 18
Feb 19
Mar 20
April 19
May 17
June 17
July 16
Aug 15
Sept 13
Oct 11
Nov 12
Dec 11

Waning Moon: Execration Rites

Almost anyone reading should be pretty familiar with execration rites at this point, so I wasn’t going to bother with explaining them in-depth, but I will mention that these are meant to be a little bit more involved than some of my past execrations, in that I will be attempting to do more formal-styled execrations (such as what you see in Reidy’s book) for 2019. As for the timing, I chose to place these during the waning moon phase as a means to push back any negative forces that have managed to surface since the moon has begun to “shrink” or disappear. Unlike most of the other phases, this section has the most flexibility with timing, and I will likely do an execration on the first day of 2019, similar to how we would for Wep Ronpet, to insure that the year is as prosperous as possible. Here is the tentative schedule for the execration rites:

Jan 1
Jan 28
Feb 26
Mar 27
April 26
May 27
June 25
July 24
Aug 23
Sept 20
Oct 21
Nov 19
Dec 18

Not-Affiliated-with-the-Moon: 6th Day Akhu Rites

The akhu rites that I was asked to perform are supposed to be modeled somewhat after the 6th day rites that would have been performed in antiquity. Since I’ve got rites occurring around the 6th in several months, I will potentially shift some of these rites to the 7th or 10th day of each month, since I’ve read that it was not uncommon for akhu rites to occur on those days as well. To start with, I will be using Reidy’s akhu rites, but I have been asked to draft another version based off of the “Ancestor Ritual” of Amenhotep I by the end of the year. This is the tentative schedule for the akhu rites:

Jan 10
Feb 6
Mar 7
April 10
May 10
June 6
July 10
Aug 6
Sept 6
Oct 7
Nov 6
Dec 6

After each ritual is done, I will be doing a write-up discussing what I experienced, learned, or did for each rite. Whether these will be weekly, or combined into one monthly post, I’m not sure. However, all of them will be labeled as “Year of Rites” and will be tagged as such. If anyone else would like to participate, feel free to throw your experiences/write-ups into the “Year of Rites” tag, and I will place them at the bottom for others to view. For any custom rites that I create, I can post rubrics for others to follow if there is interest (I’ll be posting what I draft up for Making Ma’at no matter what.)

I know that the schedule is rigorous, but part of me can’t help but wonder how such an experience will change me. I look forward to seeing where this venture takes me.

 
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Posted by on December 23, 2018 in Kemeticism, Making Ma'at, Year of Rites

 

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Making Ma’at 2k19

Earlier this summer I found myself mulling over Wep Ronpet and the yearly execrations that most of us perform for that holiday — specifically as it relates to ma’at. I’ve read in several places over the years that whenever you remove isfet from the world, you should seek to replace it with ma’at. And the more I thought about it, the more I realized that I don’t think many of us do anything after an execration to fill that newly-made void with ma’at.

That led me to ponder — is it a problem that we don’t have any sort of ritualized method to bring ma’at into this newly-created void? This stuck out to me because my assumption would be that if you remove isfet and don’t actively replace it with ma’at, the things that are most likely to slide back into that place are the things of least resistance – aka, more isfet. And if that is the case, it begs me to ask — are our execrations doing any good if we don’t supplement ma’at after the fact?

When I originally brought it up on our discord server, most of the people that commented did confirm that they don’t necessarily do anything related to ma’at after an execration. There was also an interest expressed in creating resources for our community to utilize to help other Kemetics bring more ma’at into our world. This led to me and secondgenerationimmigrant discussing ideas that involved community participation, which we then felt out over on tumblr.

After weeks of kicking this around, debating what to call it or tag it, what platforms to use, who to invite, etc. we finally ironed out the first phase of this project, which I’d like to introduce to you now.

Making Ma’at: What is it?

Making Ma’at is a project that will span all of 2019 (or longer, possibly) wherein we are asking all members of the Kemetic community to bring forth ideas, thoughts, and actions that help to generate more ma’at within the world. This project has the ability to span multiple mediums and will incorporate several methods that should allow for everyone to participate to whatever degree they feel comfortable.

Currently, there are two main aspects of Making Ma’at: collaborative writing and regular ritual work that has been dubbed “Monthly Ma’at”.

Collaborative Writing

The collaborative writing portion of this project is currently happening over on Penflip. Penflip is a platform where anyone can create an account for free. You’d just log into our project, and then you’ll be able to add new writing ideas, suggest changes to already-existing works, and collaborate with other Kemetics who are participating.

We have created a layout with various ritual components that we are hoping the community can help create and give feedback on. This includes hymns to and about ma’at, litanies, ritual pieces that can be added to daily rites, execrations, or other more-involved rituals. There are many directions that the collaborative writing could go in, and we’re hoping that the community will explore as many venues as possible.

Since Penflip can be difficult for those on mobile devices, if you wish to participate but find the platform too difficult to use, please feel free to reach out to me or SGI directly, and we’ll get your changes/writings added to the Penflip (and yes, you will be cited for whatever you write/add/change.) For those of you on tumblr with this issue, you could leave your posts/changes in the #makingma’at tag with express permission to add them to the Penflip, and we’ll take care of it.

Ultimately, if this project gets big enough, we may look into a better platform that requires a subscription to use. But for now, we’re starting very low cost. Also, if this portion of the project is successful, we will eventually be compiling everyone’s work into a downloadable PDF (or possibly a printed book, if people want it) so that everyone can have a copy of everything that’s been made.

Monthly Ma’at

Monthly Ma’at is the second half of this project, and it is tied to another side project I’ll be posting about next week. But for now suffice to say that this portion of the project is very similar to the “Poopocalypse 2k15” we did a while back in that it involves monthly rites that people can perform. Except in this case, they’re specifically to help generate ma’at in the world. I will be drafting up a ritual or two for people to use to get started before the first ritual of the new year hits, but I hope that others will make more rites to pick from and utilize in 2019.

I personally will be performing these rites around New Moon or the day after New Moon, to help direct the energy that the moon is gaining to be more in alignment in ma’at, which I’ll explain in more detail in next week’s post.

What if I’m not a formal writer/rituals kind of person?

When coming up with this project, it was asked if community members could use other means to generate ma’at beyond writing prose or performing rites, and my personal answer to this is “yes.” While our current structure is mainly focusing on rituals and ritual components, I welcome everyone reading to find other ways to generate ma’at in your life this year, and to share those experiences within the #makingma’at tag. I think that the more discussion we can generate around how to make ma’at more manifest, the better.

So while we’re waiting for me to finish writing up all of the details of Monthly Ma’at, please feel free to check out the Penflip and start submitting your own texts, rites, etc. for others to view. We look forward to seeing what everyone comes up with!

 
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Posted by on December 18, 2018 in Kemeticism, Making Ma'at, Year of Rites

 

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The Fight For Yourself

Before I start this post, I wanted to thank everyone who gave me feedback from my last post. It’s great to see that I still have a readership despite being awol for the past year or two, and I’m glad to hear that people like my less informative posts, and were still down with seeing more of my shadow work stuff. So a lot of love to all of you ❤ and with that, now for the actual post…

Being chronically ill is frustrating.

Of course, many of you reading this know that, but it bears repeating all the same — being chronically ill is frustrating. It’s a constant uphill walk, filled with schedules and things you have to do, along with a lot of not-doing things that you want to do. It requires a lot of will power and discipline, which illness loves to collect from you as though it were extracting a fee. It also costs a lot of money and time to be sick all the time. I’ve lost track of how much dough and how many hours I’ve dumped into various doctors appointments, prescriptions, supplements, etc.

When you consistently hate yourself, this battle becomes even more difficult. You end up burning the candle at both ends — telling yourself that you need to do something, because its good for yourself and will make life more bearable, while simultaneously hating yourself for being sick all the time, for making your own experience on this planet even more difficult and frustrating.

Or at least, that’s how it has always been for me.

When I first started therapy, one of the first things that we discussed was the fact that I was so super mean to myself. I was always super critical of everything I did. I was very much like a non-stop version of this:

There is a reason why so many of us end up with this sort of negative internal self-talk. To pull from someone who knows more about this than me:

A flashback-inducing critic is typically spawned in a danger-ridden childhood home. This is true whether the danger comes from the passive abandonment of neglect or the active abandonment of abuse. When parents do not provide safe enough bonding and positive feedback, the child flounders in anxiety and fear. Many children appear to be hard-wired to adapt to this endangering abandonment with perfectionism.

A prevailing climate of danger forces the child’s superego to over-cultivate the various programs of perfectionism and endangerment listed below. Once again, the superego is the part of the psyche that learns parental rules in order to gain their acceptance.

The inner critic is the superego gone bad. The inner critic is the superego in overdrive desperately trying to win your parents approval. When perfectionist driving fails to win welcoming from your parents, the inner critic becomes increasingly hostile and caustic. It festers into a virulent inner voice that increasingly manifests self-hate, self-disgust, and self-abandonment.

The inner critic blames you incessantly for shortcomings that is imagines to be the cause of your parents rejection. It is incapable of understanding that the real cause lies in your parents’ shortcomings. […]

A traumatized child becomes desperate to relieve the anxiety and depression of abandonment. The critic-driven child can only think about the ways they are too much or not enough. The child’s unfolding sense of self (the healthy ego) finds no room to develop. Their identity virtually becomes the critic. The superego trumps the ego.

In this process, the critic becomes increasingly virulent and eventually switches from the parents’ internalized voice: “You’re bad” to the first person: “I’m bad”.

This is unlike the soldier in combat who does not develop a toxic critic. This process whereby the superego becomes carcinogenic is a key juncture where ptsd morphs into cptsd.

(you can read more quotes from Walker’s CPTSD book here.)

In Kemetic circles, you will often hear about how one should “not eat their heart.” In a way, its saying not to devour yourself, to destroy your own essence. Arguably, it’s working against ma’at to eat your heart on a regular basis. It undermines your health, your life, and what the NTRW have given you. Yet for someone like me, eating my heart was all I seemed to be doing. It didn’t look like it on the surface, but deep down, I have always been mean and nasty to myself. I’ve always been bitter at my own limitations, at my own body, at not being what I thought I wanted to be (truthfully, I don’t think I even know what I wanted to be… back to not really having a clear goal of where I’m even going.) I think chronic illness adds another layer to all of this hell because it gives you even more “reasons” to hate yourself, and the society we live in often reinforces that hatred (because western culture doesn’t seem to like disabled people much.)

If my body is a microcosm of my world, and I were to translate how I treated myself to how the NTRW run the Duat, it’d be a case of only going to battle a/pep whenever it suited me. The citizens would cry out in the streets about how isfet was devouring the outer edges of our land, and I’d begrudgingly pick up my spear and bemoan about how I have to go do this yet again to keep our land safe. I’d be the most obnoxious “savior” anyone had ever met. And because of my lack of speed to even help battle a/pep, I’d then have to spend more resources cleaning up the damage after the fact. All because I wasn’t really in it to win it. My heart was gone, for I had eaten it. I wasn’t really fighting for myself as much as I was just… going through the motions and hoping it would work out.

And if we flip that narrative, how would you feel if you saw the gods drag their feet and get huffy every time they needed to go smite isfet? Would you have a lot of confidence in them? Would you want to put your energy into helping or backing them? Or would you be more inclined to not get involved? I suspect a lot of us would waver at the sight of our gods acting like that, and on an internal level, the same thing happens to our neglected selves, our inner children that watch our adult selves shirk off responsibilities and only half-assedly dole out love to our own beings, our own selves. As my inner child told me very early on in therapy, “You care more about your astral self than you do me. Why should I even talk to you.”

If there is one thing I could stress to everyone reading this, it’s that you have to be on your own side in order to win a fight against yourself (and by that, I mean, win a fight against your inner critic.) You can’t be passive in your love of yourself and expect to make headway in loving yourself.

I’m sure many of you are now saying “well that’s all good and well, but I don’t know how to stop hating on myself.”

The method that we used is rooted in the notion of having options. A major factor in PTSD and learned helplessness is the feeling of having no options to take. When we don’t perceive ourselves as having options, we feel like there is nothing we can do, that we are powerless; and often times it means that we don’t even give it an honest shot to try and be successful. The perception of having options (and therefore control in your life) is vital to moving forward.

We often generated options by asking ourself “well, what else might be true?” To give you a more concrete example, we often call ourselves lazy. When you find yourself saying “I didn’t finish it because I’m lazy”, you could ask yourself “what else might be true about that statement?” And you may very well realize that you’re not actually lazy, but are downright tired from a spoon shortage.

Another example might be “everyone hates me” converted into “I feel like everyone hates me.” One is a statement of absolutes, the other allows the possibility that maybe it’s not as bad as it feels right now.

The way that really made this concept stick for me was to step back from myself and go “if I was someone else looking in on me now, would I believe this is true?” Usually I am more forgiving of other people’s shortcomings and problems. I’m more able to be understanding and be lenient, to remind someone that they’re going through a lot, that they’re doing the best that they can. And in turn, I should be doing the same with myself.

I’ve found that this method works best with multiple people to help point out when you’re being mean to yourself. Very often, me and my SO will quip “what else might be true” or “why are you being so mean to yourself” whenever we start with the negative self-talk. It’s been very helpful for noticing those behaviours so that I can work to correct them.

If we believe that heka is an Important Thing, then we believe that our words have power and weight. And as such, we should therefore believe that mean words to ourselves are essentially our own internal execrations thrown against our own hearts. The more we execrate ourselves, the more salted the ground becomes, the less effective we become at everything. We are all amazing hekau — when it comes to execrating ourselves.

I propose that 2018 become the year that we master our internal heka, you know, the internal messages that we tell ourselves. That we truly start to fight for our own well being, for our own needs. That we open up to the possibility that we are not the pieces of shit our world has taught us to believe that we are. That we hold each other accountable, and ask each other to not be so mean to ourselves. That we help each other see our goodness and strong points. That we quit using our energy to break ourselves down, and instead utilize it to build ourselves up.

What untruthful things do you say about yourself? Have you considered whether negative self-talk could be damaging your relationship with yourself and your life? Will you end up working to create more options about how you talk about yourself?

Relevant Posts:

 

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Devo’s Burninatin’ Celebration: 2016 Edition

If I could sum up this year’s Wep Ronpet in a succinct phrase, it would be “the year Devo went it alone.”

When it comes to Wep Ronpet, I usually have direction or a process to inform you guys about. As I mentioned last year, Wep Ronpet is becoming less about Epagomenal days, and more about ‘burn things for Set’. Usually, he shows up in late June, and we go over at least a semblance of a plan for how I’m supposed to perform the year’s execration. He gives me an initial layout of the process I’ll follow so that I know what to write in my invitation to participate, and we discuss any general goals or things I need to accomplish before the day of the rite.

This year didn’t really happen that way.

I got the default notification in mid-June about how I needed to start planning for this year’s rites. It felt very automated, like Set programmed it into his phone, and his phone shot out the reminder at it’s pre-determined time. Because of that, I couldn’t really ask him what he wanted me to do, or what I needed to do. What made this worse is that astrally, I was in a lockdown mode and couldn’t leave to go ask him (more on that in the coming weeks.) And I didn’t seem to be able to get ahold of him from this end either.

The closest thing I could get from him was confirmation (of the barest sort) that I could perform the community heka that secondgenerationimmigrant had suggested, but beyond that I was on my own.

Usually I relish in figuring out what we’re going to be doing for Wep Ronpet. I love learning about how the various concepts that I work on throughout the year with the gods will double in on itself and form new concepts and ideas for me to mull on. With each passing year, the Mysteries and Wep Ronpet execrations further my understanding of my gods and my practice. It’s during these key moments that a lot of what I’ve picked up along the way starts to make sense and become more tangibly applicable to various things.

So I was a little disappointed that I wasn’t able to come up with anything neat or cool, but at the same time, the only thing Set said to me during this years’ rites (“you’ve been working too hard”) really sums up everything that the past two years have entailed.

Most people don’t really know this, I think, but I’ve been this side of fallow since Wep Ronpet of 2014. It was during 2014’s rites that Set talked about initiation for the first time, and shortly after that, I was barred from entering the Duat, cut off from a lot of my astral life, and by the time the end of 2014 hit, my job had consumed most of my life. If you’ve been with TTR for a while, you’ve probably noticed the stark drop off in posts and writing. That is largely why.

This is further complicated by last year’s surgery, which ate up most of my memories from 2015. For example, I have a hard time remembering what I did for 2015. I vaguely remember it, but I keep confusing it with 2014’s rites. Why? Because anesthesia eats your short-term memory. I don’t really remember 2015. I remember working and being stressed and being depressed. But on the by and large, I’ve lost an entire year of my life in terms of memory.

I’m just barely coming out of this rut. Barely. Just. Not even fully out of it yet. Barely.

And as such, this year’s rites took a hit, I think, because of that. I’m currently working two jobs while trying to get my sanity back together, and I didn’t really have the time or energy to think super duper hard about what I was going to do for this year’s rites (sorry, Set). I knew I wanted needed to do them, but I wasn’t going to exert a lot of energy figuring out how.

WR_shrine

The Pot of Unrest from last year came back again this year as a holding pot for everyone’s petitions. It sat in front of the Shrine and was guarded by Set’s knife. I placed petitions into it regularly as they flowed into my inbox, and made sure to leave offerings as a means to cajole Set to come back around and check out what had been added (I don’t think it worked.)

I kept the writing structure the same as last year, where I wrote what was going to be destroyed, and then often followed it up with a positive result of having said things destroyed. But in addition to that, I decided to try adding sigils to everyone’s petitions. That way, I could send the sigil to the person as a sort of proof that their petition had been processed and added to the pot. But even more than that, it would provide a link btwn the petitioner and their petition, so that they could take an active role in the process if they wanted.

It was an attempt to help make the ritual more personalized to those who are far away. A means to invite them into the process, to play a role in their own fates and futures (since execrations can help with both) because they could use the sigil as a means to funnel energy into the petition to be destroyed, or they could perform their own execration on something marked with the same sigil, which would be an additional oomph to what I was doing. I liked the idea in concept, but in practice it was challenging. Having to have my phone charged and with me when I was processing requests was difficult. The additional steps of having to take the photo, transfer it to the computer and then email it right away so that I didn’t accidentally send the wrong sigil to the wrong person was time consuming in a way that I wasn’t fully considering when I came up with the idea. I think that maybe if I wasn’t so strapped for time, it wouldn’t have been such a problem. But given the specifics of my current situation, it might have been a poor choice for this year.

What I did learn from the process is that I can make sigils very easily, and that my astral culture (if you will) has had a heavy influence on how I draw sigils now. I also learned that there needs to be better resources for those who aren’t sure how to write execration petitions (now on my to-do list), and that wow our community has gotten so much larger than it used to be. There was more hum about Wep Ronpet this year than I’ve ever seen before. That’s awesome.

pre-rite_shrine_WR

I usually set my shrine up pretty early before Wep Ronpet actually shows up. But this year, I hadn’t even fully set the ritual space up the morning of the rites. In fact, the day before the rites, I was still hemming and hawing about what I was going to offer, what I should do for the shrine setup, and what I should do for the rites themselves. I literally had not planned or prepped anything before the ritual itself (outside of the sigil on the petition thing, that’s the only pre-planning I did. Oh yeah, and fire. I knew there would be fire.)

The night before the ritual I was able to talk with Set for a very short amount of time. We went over what had been going on with the community and I gave him a status update of what needed to be addressed, what we needed to be prepping for and planning for, as well as other trends I had been noticing while out and about. I wanted to talk with him about what I needed to be doing, or what I should be planning for in terms of finishing some projects that I have put off for some time now, but he brushed me off and told me that we’d talk about it later.

Later still hasn’t happened, by the way.

The day of the rite, I slowly pulled everything together and hoped that I had gotten everything that I needed. As I sat down with my copy of Eternal Egypt, I still wasn’t sure what exactly I was going to be doing, but I trusted in my ability to pull it out of my ass like a pro.

The ritual this year was of a very different structure than normal. I noted last year that the rites felt more “big picture” than the year prior, and I feel like I expanded upon that even more so this year. I utilized the full Set rite that was in Eternal Egypt, more or less, and then placed all of the execration petitions into the execration pot while performing additional verbal heka. I then sat down and read the words that were written in the community heka, framing it as everyone’s requests to a council of NTRW, asking that they consider our words, and helping aid us in our requests. I then finished tearing up and burning the execration petitions and closed the ritual in the typical fashion as is laid out in most of the rites in Eternal Egypt.

WR_closeup2

I had brought my music thinking that I’d want to use it to help with the execrations, but it wasn’t needed. This year’s ritual would count as fully formal, in my opinion, as it was very by the books and very solemn (and emotional, apparently.) While I couldn’t see or hear Set (except for the one phrase), I could feel him around. I felt like more than Set was watching, but I couldn’t tell who. In the end, I may end up making a fully formal rite the new norm as I move forward, but we’ll see how things progress in time for next year.

I found that as I read through the formal words that I had an even better understanding of them than when I first read them so many years ago. I’ve always liked the words of formal rites, they’ve always resonated with me, but I don’t think I had a solid understanding of the depth of what I was reading in the past. I feel like I’m starting to get a better understanding and appreciation of the multiple layers that exist within a formal rite and its wording.

By the time the rites were done, I was completely exhausted in a way that is not normal for me. I’m not sure what exactly I had done that caused me to feel so absolutely drained, but it was all I could do not to lay on the floor and stare at the ceiling for the rest of the day. While the rites were not typical for me, I think that they were fulfilling, albeit in a way that is hard to describe. Even though it was the year I went it alone (and rushed and unprepared), I feel like it was successful, though I’d prefer to have more energy and time to prepare for rites in the future.

execration_pot

I found that even though I had more or less gone it alone, that a lot of the motifs from last year still held true for this year. Notions about how letting things go isn’t easy, and how we need to be open to the changes required in order to make our requests truly manifest. And it is my hope that everyone that sent in a petition is presented with opportunities to have their petitions fulfilled, and in ways that exceed their expectations. May we all be open to the changes that we need, so that we may succeed in the coming year.

Relevant Posts:

 
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Posted by on August 8, 2016 in Kemeticism

 

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Devo’s Burninatin’ Celebration: 2015 Edition

With each passing year I have found that my Wep Ronpet festivities are less about the Epagomenal days, and are becoming more and more about Set and execrating things and calling it a holiday. Like last year, my Wep Ronpet started about a month early when I put out the public invitation to participate in my yearly execration. It’s only fair, I suppose, since Osiris gets a full month out of me in the winter, and now Set gets a month in the summer (though the work I do during each month is very very different). Each year my execration rites and methods are dictated by Set who often uses this as a means to further my understanding of things such as himself, myself, our relationship together, etc.

For those who were around for last year’s execration, you’ll know that he involved my sewing habit, and sought to incorporate the overlap that exists between sewing, heka, and Kemeticism. This year’s theme could easily be summed up as “a pot of unrest.” For those who don’t know where the phrase stems from, it comes from a spell that you can find inside of Borghouts’ text where Set has been injured, and Horus seeks to find out his real name in order to heal him. Amongst the many names that he hands out, he calls himself a “Quiver full of arrows, a pot full of unrest” (you can see more on Henadology about this, too).

I discovered this story shortly before my execration invitation went out, and it’s colored a lot of my practice ever since. Possibly due to my mounting frustrations with my family and their constant picking at my anger, or maybe due to being a second-class citizen in my country, I found myself relating to the idea of being a “pot of unrest”. So when Set told me that we were going to use that as part of our execration this year, I was a bit excited to see how this would pan out.

execration_pot of unrest

My pot of unrest sitting in front of the shrine.

“We are preparing a pig for slaughter,” he told me as I placed the first set of petition papers into my pot of unrest. This year, I augmented how I wrote out the execration petitions. Instead of simply writing out what needed to be destroyed, I would write a statement of what would be slaughtered, and then followed that up with a statement of what the end goal would look like once the execration was done. For example: I destroy my anxiety and worrisome thoughts. My mind is calm and at ease. I am in control of my thoughts.

After I wrote the petitions on the pieces of paper, I set them into my pot and left them to stew for the rest of the month. The pot was just a pot in it’s own right, but once you filled it with the grit and grime that everyone wanted to eradicate, it became filled with unrest. Unrest that was dieing to get out.

In many cultures, when you’re preparing an animal for a sacred feast or holy day, you take very good care of the animal. It is given a special meal and special treatment. Sometimes they will adorn the animal with pretty flowers, fancy cloth, or other nice things. In this case, my pot of unrest contained the “meat” of what we would be killing and roasting during this execration. In the same fashion that you might give your sacrificial animal a large last meal or maybe drape pretty flowers on them, I decided to decorate and “pretty up” all of these awful things that we would be destroying on Wep Ronpet. I also wanted to make this pig fat, so I placed the pot of unrest in front of the shrine and placed all of my offerings before not only the gods, but the pot of unrest as well.

execration-altar-setup-top

Last year, Set had talked to me about taking care with my a/pep effigy. He told me that sometimes we must destroy what we love and that just because something is destined to be destroyed doesn’t mean that we should cut corners, and that mentality went a little deeper this year. Instead of taking care to sew an effigy on the last night before our execration, I would spend an entire month cultivating this pot of unrest and everything inside of it. It is true that the items written on the slips of paper are things that we all want to get rid of, but it is important to remember that these habits and traits are hard to get rid of for a reason. It is very often that our bad habits end up being very dear to us in their own ways. We can’t cope with things, and so we indulge in stuff that we probably shouldn’t. We fear for the unknown, so we cling to whatever is familiar to us, no matter how detrimental that behaviour may be. Our relationship to our darker sides and habits is often very complex, and I believe Set was trying to emulate this throughout the pre-execration process.

Sometimes the things that threaten our well being the most end up being the most comforting to us. He implied in some ways, that these things still need to be given a fair amount of love in order to be released more readily. But because the people who are falling victim to these bad habits probably can’t afford such a thing (it’s hard to love parts of you that you hate, to love things that you do that unravel your life), that is the role that I would be filling. This is familiar to me in terms of healing, because you often have to become ambivalent or relatively removed from a person during a healing process. It’s hard to get someone to heal if you’re too busy judging them, or making them judge themself. And as I’ve mentioned in the past, if you can’t come to accept yourself or what you’ve done, healing, letting go and moving on can become near impossible. For the first time, I was beginning to see how O’s work and Set’s work were going to overlap in a more practical sense.

We will feed these bad habits for a month. We will feed this pig until it can’t hold anymore. And then we will pierce the pig with our arrows, and feast upon its flesh. That was the aim.

execration-altar-setup-front

On the day of the execration, I pulled out each paper one by one and drew an arrow through each line of text. This effectively turned each petition into a quiver of arrows. Some of these arrows were going to pierce the problem, the pig, and destroy whatever each person wanted destroyed. But that would leave one other final arrow that was drawn through the positive statement at the end: this arrow was going to work for each person who had submitted a petition, and help to guide that person to a better place.

I wasn’t entirely aware of this caveat when I started, it was something that Set sorta sprung on me at the last minute while I was drawing these arrows onto each sheet of paper. Like normal, I met with him Over There while I did the ritual over here, and as I began to draw arrows on the papers, I found arrows appearing in my hands over there. By the time the execration was finished, these arrows had flown off to their respective owners, and were going to help push that person into a better place. I was reminded a bit of O’s impaling magix, which is supposed to help force change in a given situation while also being reminded of various NTRW’s Arrows, which are supposed to go do the bidding of the particular god in question.

Had I sent out his Arrows to help people? Had I sent out my own Arrows to help people? I’m not sure. But arrows were sent out all the same.

execration

Afterwards, I was told to make a post for everyone who had submitted a petition to see. He said that everyone needed to focus on where they wanted to go, everyone needed to keep their eye on the prize, so that the arrow would go in the right direction. He gave me an image of heka, arrow and a shen, which I took to mean that your heka drives your arrow, and the shen offers protection so that you are able to get where you want to be safely.

Shen-Heka

Last year’s execration felt an awful lot like “destroy all of the things!” The music that was used was from Save Rock and Roll, which is filled with a lot of angry ass-kicking songs. Where as this year’s theme was Uma Thurman, a song that featured more about making miraculous things happen (and summer sex). This year’s execration felt less like directing anger, and more about bigger picture stuff- don’t just destroy the bad things, also work on the aftermath and bringing in the good stuff, too. As I had stated above, it was a lot like I incorporated both Set and Osiris, and had managed to bring in not only destruction but long-term healing as well.

I guess now we must wait and see if the proof is in the pudding, and if people experience some change in the coming months.

Other Wep Ronpet 2015 Posts:

 
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Posted by on August 6, 2015 in Kemeticism

 

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Poopocalypse 2k15

It’s funny how things can snowball. One small occurrence leads to another occurrence, which leads to another and another- and next thing you know, things have happened. That’s kinda how the poopocalypse started, really. One person asked about a/pep, and then another and another. And then people came in trying to find a way to worship the thing, and a whole different batch of people came in trying to understand why it’s still around and others raised their hand in confusion because they were absent from school that day and couldn’t fathom why people would even want to worship something that wants you destroyed.

And next thing you know, people are talking about having a big community execration, because fire is fun.

This started out as a one time event. We were torn on what to call it, so we ended up with “Execranuary” and “Poopocalypse 2k15“. I personally prefer the second because it could last the entire year. And that is exactly why I am writing this post right now. I’d love to see us have an entire year of monthly execrations.

I’m sure many of you are wondering why I am so on board with slaying the poop every month. Some of you may think it to be a little excessive, even. But hear me out before you pass judgement either way.

Execration in action. Photo from Tumblr user Rainhappily.

First, I’d like to bring it back to antiquity, and remind everyone that execrations used to be performed daily. Sometimes multiple times during the day, at multiple temples throughout the day. The Egyptians took their execrations seriously, and they were just as persistent with execrations as they were with daily rites for the gods. For the Egyptians, execrations were part and parcel with maintaining ma’at. It was their way of assisting the gods in fighting back the forces of isfet. It was helping the gods keep Creation going.

So as far as I am concerned, there is no such thing as too many execrations. I know that many of us only execrate once or twice a year (usually at Wep Ronpet), but we really could execrate as often as we want. And I recommend that people execrate whenever they feel the need to remove bad stuff from their lives.

The other reason that I am so on board with having a year long execration celebration is because execrations can be used for so many things.

Traditionally, we associate execrations with pushing back and fighting against isfet and a/pep. However, there are a lot of other applications that execrations can be used for. Execrations can be used as a part of self-care and shadow work, or could be used to drive forward societal changes or things of that nature.

Execration, Shadow Work and Self-Care

I don’t care what anyone says. Destruction has a place in self-care. Half the reason most of us need to do more self-care to begin with is because our society teaches us that taking care of ourselves is somehow inherently bad. That alone is a mentality that needs to die, and is worthy of execration in and of itself.

Many of us participate in habits that wear us down and wear us out. Many of us have baggage that we need to be rid of in order to heal and move forward. All of these things are fit for the execration pot.

Now imagine if you were working on making 2015 the year that you actually started to work on self-care. Imagine if you had a reoccurring holiday that gave you an excuse to destroy all of those bad habits every month? Imagine if all of your Kemetic buddies were participating in the same thing, reminding you that these things should go, and that our well being is important?

Kicking out bad habits, negative thoughts, and toxic people are all part of self-care. I believe that recurring monthly execrations can help these changes occur and stick.

Execration and Social Movements

Another thing that seems to be overlooked is that execrations used to be used for controlling the politics of ancient Egypt. The priests who performed these execrations weren’t only trying to destroy isfet, they were also destroying enemies of the state and enemies of the King both “known and unknown”.

I know that this isn’t entirely new news to modern witchcraft users or hekau. We do have tags such as “Witchcraft for Wendy” and “Fighting for Ferguson”, after all. However, I think having monthly execrations where we are able to revisit political situations and social movements would be a good thing. If throwing someone’s name into an execration pot once worked out well, imagine what might happen if you did it every month for a year.

While I’m not saying that everyone has to combine politics/social movements and execrations together, I do believe it could be a useful use of Poopocalypse 2k15. Especially since there have been concerns about how much overlap isfet and horrible politicians have. Of course, it also goes without saying that if you are concerned about pushing for human rights, that you should be doing more than simply execrating. However, I think that execration gives a solid base for everyone to work with.

So I want to participate. What now?

The general premise for Poopocalypse 2k15 is that we will perform execrations on the New Moon of every month. For those of you on Tumblr, I’d recommend tagging any execration activities that you wish to share with the “poopocalypse 2k15” tag and/or placing it into the usual #Kemetic tag. Obviously, not everyone will be able to participate exactly on the New Moon, and I think that’s fine. I personally will be aiming to execrate once a month, as close to New Moon as I can get.

For those of you over here on WP, if you’d like to share any of your execrations, let me know and I’ll be adding them to this post, and to my own collection that I’ve got going over on Tumblr.

As the months progress, I will be attempting to try out new execration styles to see how they work out. It’s my goal to think of some new ways to punish the poop, especially for those who are low on supplies, or have to execrate on the down low. For resources on how you can execrate, check out the links at the bottom or check out the poopocalypse tag to see how others have performed their execrations.

What do you think about having a year of execrations? Do you think you will be participating?

Relevant Links:

 
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Posted by on February 2, 2015 in Devo Magix Series, Kemeticism

 

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