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How to Build a Heart: The Curious Case of Father-Lover

This is a series that I have been working on since 2016. Some of the parts of this series were written back in 2016, and other parts were written here in 2018. This series will focus on astral work and the heka I’ve been experimenting in tandem with said work. Abuse will be discussed, as such, viewer discretion is advised.

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There is a saying about times and measures and desperation. In the astral, it seems like rocks and hard places are always the norm. This is a story of when an unstoppable force meets an immovable object, and the aftermath that comes with it.

This story is long, and so I am breaking this into a series of posts for your ease of reading. This work is still ongoing, and as such, it may be a while before I am able to draw any heavy or final conclusions about certain aspects of what will be discussed and its possible that there will be long breaks in between posts in this series as I wait for things to develop/happen. In many ways, you can consider this series to be similar to my Mysteries and Cycle series back in the day.

Late in the summer of 2015, I wrote about losing an astral partner that was close (and yet oh, so, far) to me. I bring this up, because as it turns out, there was another part of this person running around on the astral at the same time. Lo, this other shard had been around just about as long as the person I lost (about ten years our time), and was still hanging around when my partner finally passed on. The biggest issue was that I didn’t realize what or who he was until after the other piece had passed on. I didn’t realize a lot of things until after that person passed on.

Nothing brings families together or tears them apart quite like death.

I had learned that my mentor was not only a shard of the person who had passed, but was in fact the creator and source of that person. To say that the man we eventually called “Father-Lover” was a shard of the person who had passed was technically incorrect–the man who had passed was actually a shard of Father-Lover.

As I began to sift through the history between all of us, I found that this goes deeper than just that. The mentor that I had been working with since college was far more than just a father-figure to me once upon a time. Oh no, just being a mentor is not enough for this dog and pony show. We call him Father-Lover for a reason, for he was more than just my “father.” He had been a lover of mine once upon a time, too.

But wait, there’s more!

It turns out that he and I used to be one, except at the time, he was whole and complete and looked like someone else entirely. But after he lost too much of himself, he changed. The problem being that we were still attached at the hip and technically have been ever since. My musings about my heart feeling literally broken after Rosetjau suddenly made sense to me: when I had “reset” my mentor, I had inadvertently reset part of myself. Killing him meant killing a part of myself.

There are many take-away lessons that I could pass on to you from trying to heal Father-Lover.

One is that you should never place your most important bits into someone else. It’s a surefire way to be screwed over. If not by you, by someone else. Ultimately, you need to be responsible for your own well being. No one else should do it for you because eventually that someone else will be compromised, and its just easier to keep track of yourself when you contain your most-important pieces.

Similarly, cutting yourself off from yourself doesn’t work, either. Like magnets, eventually you will attract yourself back into yourself, and if you’ve been trying avoid that scenario, the results are usually pretty catastrophic when the inevitable comes to pass. For those of us who can’t literally cut ourselves into smaller beings that are separate, the equivalent would be ignoring parts of yourself that need addressing. Repressing feelings and issues that need to be worked on only works until it doesn’t anymore. And by the time that it doesn’t work, things are usually going to be in shambles.

Another lesson is that you should never put all of your eggs into one basket. Trying to push off the work because it’s too painful only goes so far. As I found out, Father-Lover had been banking on my partner to “succeed” him, but when my partner firmly refused because he didn’t feel it was his place (him being a shard, he felt it was more proper for the source to have that honor), two wills clashed and my partner’s won out. Father-Lover had spent so much time banking on this other person doing the heavy lifting that he was nearly crushed by the weight of his choices.

And keep in mind that if he is crushed, I get crushed, too. Being one person will do that to you. His actions not only affected himself, but myself and others that are contained within me or attached to me. That’s a lesson, too: things rarely just affect you. There is always collateral damage. You should be considerate of who you are screwing over in the process of saving your skin or avoiding work. The main reason my partner could never heal is partially because his source refused to heal. None of our attempts ever took because we were treating symptoms, but never addressing the source. Separating himself (my partner) from himself (Father-Lover) wasn’t stopping the bleed-through from occurring. If anything, it just made the healing process more difficult.

Once I knew who Father-Lover actually was, and what role he played in all of this, I set out to finish what I had started with my partner. To an extent, my partner’s death didn’t change anything–we still needed to fix the source of the problem in order to un-knot all of the threads keeping us here. My partner dying didn’t relieve Father-Lover of his duty. Instead, it forced it upon him.

I began working on him at the end of 2015. I don’t know if you’ve ever had to suddenly learn that someone you’ve thought of as a father was actually your lover before Things Happened, but it makes for awkward situations and tension. Even if Father-Lover had been intent on fixing himself (he wasn’t), I think we would have had issues doing the work simply because his facade had been destroyed. He could no longer hide who he was, or what we were “supposed” to be. It’s like when Christine pulls the mask off of the Phantom. By removing his veneer, I had changed the relationship permanently.

While our relationship as mentor-mentee was pretty smooth and drama-free, as soon as we began to shift into whatever-this-is-supposed-be, I found that he became drastically more and more unstable. As he worked to take up his “proper” role (that is to say–as an equal, and not so much as a mentor–the lover stuff was only as relevant as we wanted it to be), I found that he began to bleed into every other area of my relationships. He’d co-opt songs and symbols that had already been claimed by other menz. He’d infect, claim, and overlay onto others bond lines without consent. He’d have bouts of jealousy and anger where he lashed out at my other menz for being around me, or at me for being around them.

For all intents and purposes, the act of healing him was doing the exact opposite. But as I’ve mentioned before, if you don’t want to heal, odds are you won’t.

As the weeks began to span into months, his actions got worse and worse. I soon found myself locked in a black space where I couldn’t get out and no one else could get in. His being a part of myself was becoming my downfall as he had access to every part of me. It wasn’t hard for him to control things from a deeper level because he had his hands in nearly everything, and to a degree, knew my innards better than I did.

By the time that April 2016 rolled around, I knew that something needed to give. I just wasn’t sure how it was going to give. This is that rock and hard place, those desperate times and measures. In the same way that the unstoppable will of my now-dead partner collided with the immovable will of Father-Lover in 2015, my unstoppable will to survive this was about to collide with Father-Lover’s immovable will to heal or let go.

I took actions into my own hands. Well, asleep me took action into my own hands.

I went to bed on Saturday night, and everything was fine (as fine as being locked in an endless vat of black can be), but by the time Sunday morning rolled around, I had found that I had had some sort of altercation while asleep. There were Taint stains on my hands and shirt, and it was obvious to me that something had happened.

It would take most of the day for me to figure out what exactly, though. The short version was that I was tired of Father-Lover’s waffling on the issues at hand, and in order to force a change, I removed all of his pieces from myself. Now, for those of you who don’t know much about bonding, this process is usually not easy or fun. After my partner died, I had to go and have everything removed from my person for safety reasons, and it was a thoroughly-planned week-long affair. This, on the other hand, was done very haphazardly, and it wasn’t just bond lines. As I had mentioned above, we were merged on a core level. Which means that removing him from my person involved removing the bulk of my core and giving it back to him.

I had essentially ripped the heart out of my chest and given it to him. That way, he had everything that was “his” (what truly is “his” or “mine” when you are technically one being…) and I was no longer liable to fix his problems. And before I even hit the floor from the pain, he had left.

Ultimately he never came back. He drew his final breaths a few months later when things truly drew to a close for us.

This, of course, left me wondering what to do about my missing core-bits. Losing small chunks of yourself is not a huge deal, but this was probably well over 3/4th’s of my core that I had forked over in a possible fit of spite. I had people who could help me on the astral for stabilizing myself out, but the bulk of the work would fall to me. You can’t rely on someone else to make you, after all.

It was on the very same day that I had woken up a complete Taint-stained mess that my partner (in the physical) had found an old jar in the cupboard. When I looked at it, I knew that I wanted to use it for an ib project of some kind. And by the end of the day when I had figured out what all had transpired, I knew that which ib project I would be relegating it to. Now I just had to figure out how to actually make it happen.

 

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Devo Magix: Spoon Heka

Ever since I learned about Spoon Theory, I have had a thing for spoons. I think this is because it gave me an image to latch on to that represented so much of what I was going through, and in the process, I have collected quite a number of spoons.

spoons1

Most of these spoons sit in a special cup on my personal shrine at home. Because there is no discreet or easy way to carry spoons with me, I am forced to leave my spoons at home in their cup and go on with my day without them. It has always been my hope that I could find spoons that I could hang on a necklace, or put on a key chain or spoons that would be small enough to carry on my person. It just so happens that I finally found some.

My partner found a set of teapot spoons online, and decided to get them for me on a whim. They suit me in a lot of ways- I love tea and the rhinestone on the handle is really up my alley. And the best part about these spoons is that they are small and have a loop in the handle, which can be strung up on a necklace.

My original intent was to get some thin satin cording, however my attempts at finding a color that suited my needs was proving difficult. I could find a ton of rainbow colors, as well as a bunch of really boring, washed out colors. But there wasn’t anything that really worked for me.

In my despair, I meandered around the Micheal’s and tried find something else that would work for my needs. I came across this really nice “yarn” that I felt I could use. And I was in luck because it was on sale, and there were two sets of colors that suited the gods I worked with- the red reminding me of Set, and the blue cording reminded me waaaay too much of the River and Big O. I felt like it was a win-win for me all around.

spoons

So I sat down with all of my supplies and decided what to do with the spoons. Due to the thickness of the cording, I could no longer string beads onto the necklace like I had originally hoped. However, I decided to play off of the netting that existed within this “yarn” and I worked with knots and numbers instead.

cording

For the red cord, I chose to place two knots above the spoon. Two was a number of duality in ancient Egypt, and I have come to associate two with not only creation, but balance. Harkening back to balancing my two halves and making them whole, I can no longer look at the number two and not think about this. The same way that Ptah balances chaos and stability, I balance my work with Set and Osiris, and I balance my internal self with my external life. Balance is incredibly important to me, and so I felt that having two knots suited this need well.

spoons-2

The blue cording was a slightly different story, though. I decided to try and make a more complicated knot for this piece, which is perhaps a reflection on the complicated nature of mine and Osiris’ relationship. I opted to look online for something that would translate well into this thicker “yarn”, and I found this. And so I decided to give it a shot. After I created the more complicated knot, I added two smaller knots to either side of the main piece. The number 4 represented completeness and totality in ancient Egyptian symbolism, and I felt that I could use some completeness and stability in my self-care. This also mirrors Osiris himself, who is known to be the djed pillar- a beacon of stability and endurance.

spoon-CU

Although the necklaces probably look more home made than some people would prefer, I liked the informality of each of these pieces. I also like that I could take the spoons off of the current cording, and switch them out for something else. So if I decided that I wanted to change the focus of the cord, I could either untie them, and redo them in a more suitable format. Or, I could destroy the current cording, and replace it with entirely new cording that suits my needs. Either way, there is a lot of flexibility in what I could do with these pieces, and I like that.

spoons-3

I am super happy that I can finally take a spoon with me to work or to family gatherings or what have you. It feels nice to be able to look down and see the cording, or to rub the spoon between my fingers when I’m stressed and know that I am not alone. And because the cording ties back to my gods, it’s another way to have them in my day to day life in a not-so-obvious way. I can’t wait to be able to take these spoons with me, and see how they influence my ability to cope with day to day life, as well as how many learning opportunities they will provide when someone asks me “Why are you wearing a spoon?”.

Have you ever performed any spoon heka? If so, how did you go about it?

Relevant Posts:

 

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The Price of Rebirth

execration_pot

The thing about being reborn is this: In order to be reborn, you must die.
Everyone wants to be reborn, but nobody wants to die for it. (x)

In a little under a week from now I will be performing an execration for a number of people. It’s one of the first full-out public rites that I have ever done (I don’t really feel like my All Souls petitions really count). I used to do magic workings for individual people a long time ago, back when I first got into witchcraft and Kemeticism, and I learned quickly how difficult such workings can be. People often want really difficult things or they have unrealistic expectations about what the magic will do for them. I got out of performing magic for people because it became really stressful for me. When the magic didn’t perform as I thought it should I felt like a failure and that’s really part of why I put magic away for such a long time, too. I never felt like anything I did took.

All of these past experiences feed into my anxieties regarding this execration I’ll be performing. What do I do if things don’t change for people? What if I fail? What if I find out that I really suck at all of this? Should I even bother? If it doesn’t work, does that make me a hack?

However, I’ve learned over the years that magic isn’t under an obligation to act as we think it should, and there are many reasons why it may or may not appear to be working. To add to that, many times we shut our own magic down.

To me, an execration is an awful lot like a rebirth. When you execrate, you are essentially destroying something- a part of yourself, a habit, a piece of your life – and when you destroy something successfully, it is like a small (or large) rebirth, a zep tepi within your existence. And the thing about being reborn is that it isn’t always easy or pleasant.

I’ve had the fortune or misfortune of bearing witness to and participating in a number of rebirths in the astral. There are plenty of times when I have signed on to help someone be reborn (which usually involves a bit of dieing myself) only to get halfway through the process and decide that I must be the dumbest person on the planet. Many times, the destroying and subsequent healing process that is involved in these rites is very taxing and draining. And there are many times when I question if it’s all worth it in the end (the answer is usually yes, though it can take some time to see/feel it). In order for these rites to be successful, they require participation on both sides of the equation. I have to help the person rebirth, but they have to be willing to help me help them. You can not force an unwilling subject to be reborn, and if you force them, the rebirth will likely have unforeseen consequences and side effects.

Execration and other forms of changing magic are often the same way. You’re submitting something to the universe or gods to be destroyed. You are asking for change in some capacity. You’re asking them to help you die so that you can be reborn. And yet, how many of us actually think in these terms when we do our magics? How many of us are prepared for the routes the magic may take upon hearing our requests (or demands)? Rebirth requires a death, a price.

How far are you willing to go to see the change that you want become manifest? What price is too high for you?

In retrospect, I feel like a lot of the magics that I saw people requesting failed because people were not willing to pay the price for their rebirth. They wanted to fix the foundations of their life, but they were unwilling to raze the walls to get to the foundation for fixing. They want to get into college, but never submit an application. They want a new job, but feel their magics are failing because they lost their job, and were forced to move somewhere else instead (where a new job was waiting for them). They want their rebirth without paying the price of death.

Magic doesn’t always work on our timelines or how we expect. It works how it wants or needs to. Sometimes the path of least resistance is not the long term solution you actually need. When we perform these kinds of workings in our lives (or have someone perform on our behalf) we need to be prepared to take action ourselves to make the end goal a reality. Sometimes, you’ll be lucky and the blockages in your life will clear right up and you’ll land right where you wanted to be. But a lot of times, you’ll be forced to climb up some steep mountains in the rain in order to make your dream happen. That doesn’t mean that your magics didn’t work, though. It just means that it sometimes takes multiple things to make the magic manifest. Taking mundane steps to better your life situation can make your magic more potent. Sometimes the best answer to a magic request is practical application in your daily life.

So in the future when you’re considering performing a magical request (whether an execration or otherwise) I recommend being prepared and open for the possibilities that the magic can take. Don’t limit yourself to a certain preconceived notion or expectation about how the magic should play out. Be aware that sometimes the road to success is not a straight line, but a bumpy, obnoxiously tumultuous line, and that magic (or deities) can only do so much about it.

And remember that rebirth almost always has a price.

Sometimes on the way to where you’re going, you might think “this is the worst time in my life”. But you know what, at the end of the road through all the adversity, if you can get where you wanted to be, you remember that whatever don’t kill you make you stronger, and that all the adversity was worth it.

 

 

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Devo Magix: Impaling Magix

This technique is a byproduct of my work with Osiris last fall. As I was preparing for the Mysteries, Osiris showed me a way to help people heal through stabbing them. However, I can’t run around stabbing people here in the physical, so I created this method as an alternative for physical workings. The concept behind this practice is that you are essentially pinning down a person, problem or situation so that it can’t run away. You are forcing the issue and forcing those involved to handle the situation and fix it. Usually, fixing it will result in healing- at least in the Unseen. Results on the physical side can vary and I don’t recommend trying this technique unless you’re willing and ready to face potentially hard choices and have potentially unforeseen results (as can be the case with any magix). This method of magix is not recommended if you want a smooth and easy ride.

Supplies:

For this magix you will need a few supplies:

  • A container such as a bowl or dish
  • Paper
  • Writing instruments
  • Something you can pour into the dish such as sand, rice, flour or salt
  • A stabbing implement such as a needle, knife, fork, chopstick, etc.

 The Method:

As stated above, the basic idea here is that you’re going to be taking something that you want to change- a situation, a problem, whatever, and pinning it down so that it can be addressed. You can do this in a lot of different ways, but I’m going to be discussing the most basic method that I have employed over the past few months to start off with. As with any magix, feel free to experiment with your own ideas and try new things!

The first step (after you decide what you’re going to be fixing) is to get three pieces of paper that will fit inside of your dish. The dish I used in this example is a small circular dish, so I cut my pieces into circles. Essentially, the top and bottom sheets of paper will be marked with sigils that direct energy into the middle sheet of paper which is where you will write what you want to “pin down” to be changed.

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In this situation, the middle sheet of paper was related to my workplace, so I stated that I wanted the workplace to improve. Both sheets of paper have directional arrows on them to push energy into the middle paper, into the petition. As you can see in the photo above, you will be stabbing these pages in this order. Make sure whatever paper you use, that your stabbing implement can actually pierce all of the sheets.

And this is where it gets tricky!

You’ll want to slowly pour your sand, rice, flour, salt, etc. into the dish that you’ll be using. I recommend pouring a fair amount in before you stick your impaled papers into the bowl, that way they will stand up properly. If you put the impaled papers in too quickly, they’ll fall over, or possibly slide off of the impaling implement. After some finagling, mine looked like this:

004

You can technically do this method without a dish, if you prefer (images at the bottom), but I like to use the dish as a means of stabilizing out what is going on. For this particular spell, I wanted something to keep things clean and (hopefully) calm. So I went with a lot of salt and a little bit of sand. In another version of this spell that I did, I went with rice and natron because I felt it would be calming and soothing for the situation. Use your judgement with what you think will work best.

005

I then placed some local plants onto the sand before I covered them up entirely. I did this in an effort to get local land spirits to help my cause, since it would be to their benefit if I were able to keep a steady and stable job.

006

And lastly, I tied some red thread through the eye of the needle as a means of doing some knot magix. I wanted the red to be eye catching as well as help with funneling more energy into my cause. I also added a piece of paper into the end of the needle that further explained my petition to any entities that wished to help. The whole notion is that everything is funneling and propelling energy down the needle and into the situation at the base of the needle. The whole point is to drive everything and everyone to work on the issue so that it can be resolved.

But does it work?

My answer is: I think so! I wanted to test this spell out before I made it live. I made this original container at the end of last year in hopes of making my job situation better. At first, I wasn’t sure that it was working. However, by the end of December, I could definitely see changes that were starting to roll through my office. As of writing this post at the beginning of April, we’ve had at least one major shift in the personnel in our office, and I still have the bowl sitting outside doing its job. So for all I know, more changes will come in the future.

photo

As you can see, the paper that sat on top of the needle blew away in a winter storm and the needle has sorta fallen over. However, I do believe the petition was heard and that things did get moving because of this. However, it was not a smooth ride, and I did have a lot of times where I questioned what I should do and whether I had taken the right course of action. This seems to be one of the downsides to using this method- the results aren’t always what you expect them to be, and the results getting there are not always easy.

Another example of this type of magix is this piece here, which I made for a friend who was heavily injured:

This particular dish was made to be like an imiut fetish. Many imiut have a lily at the end, and I wanted to emphasize healing and growth, so I chose a lily (typically called a lotus) for growth and a Sa for protection during the transformation. Unfortunately, this one did not seem to work and my friend lost his battle against his injuries, may he travel safely to the West.

For my last example, I wanted to show how this may work without a needle or a dish. As stated above, you can use virtually anything that can stab or impale the sheets of paper. You also don’t necessarily need a dish to contain the papers- it just depends on what type of method and result you’re aiming for.

binding fork

For this spell I chose to use a fork. That is because the sentiment behind this working was “I hope you eat your words” and the fork seemed fitting for that. Like the other spells, the intent and petition is written on the paper which I pierced through. I then wrapped red and black cording around the rest of the fork as a means to bind the person to the words that they had spoken and to prevent them from saying anything else. So again, there are many applications and methods that you can use.

Impaling magix can be used to heal, to transform, or to curse. If you try any of the methods above, please let me know how they work out for you!

 

Other Devo Magix Posts:

 
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Posted by on April 22, 2014 in Devo Magix Series

 

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Devo Magix: Car Magix

I spend a lot of time in the car. And I mean a lot. In fact, most of us probably do- it seems you can’t live these days without a car. But despite the fact that many of us spend an hour (or more) per day in our vehicles, there is little to no tutorials out there on car magix. I’ve decided that I’d list a few of the things I do regularly to my car and hopefully you’ll be able to take some of these ideas and apply them to your own!

Protective Items and Amulets

One of the easiest things to do is to create a protective item for your car (or purchase one, such as a driving omamori). These items can be stashed in a variety of places in your car such as:

  • Glove box
  • Car remote/garage remote
  • Under your visor
  • Key ring
  • Console (usually btwn the seats)
  • Trunk/spare tire pit
  • Undercarriage of your car (be careful what you put down there!)
  • Underside of your hood
  • Rear view mirror
  • The pouches on the back of your front seats
  • Underneath the front seats

These items can be in just about any form. They can be sigils scrawled on paper, or on the backs of keychains, hub caps, and car jars. They can be enchanted pennies and other change that lives in your cup holder. You could charge your bottle of emergency water that you keep in the trunk to help keep you safe. You could easily take any stone or other talisman that calls to you, charge it up for protection, and place it in a location that works well for you. It doesn’t have to be fancy or flashy to get the job done. Remember that sometimes the best magix hides in plain sight.

Using the Exterior of Your Car

One of the methods I like to use for protecting my car is through drawing sigils on the exterior. I often will physically draw sigils in the dust on my car (or you could use some type of writing utensil that is suitable for the exterior.. or just draw with your finger). Once I’ve got the sigils plastered all over it, I will wash the dust away. The sigils remain in tact, though invisible to the naked eye, and the car has been cleansed- removing any bad stuff from it.

You can also anoint your car with oils or special waters to help cleanse, consecrate or protect it. You could even do the sigil work above (with your fingers, or with an oil/water), cleanse the car, and then anoint with oils or special water.

And for some slightly more crack induced ideas:

One of the more obscure things that I do is magix while driving. I don’t really know how it started or why I started doing it, but one day I noticed that I saw another me standing on the roof of the car. This part of me would do random things while I would drive, and eventually it began to be something I’d slightly do consciously. Many times, this version of me will do magix stuff while I am driving if the need arises.

If I suddenly see a cop, or I am worrying about getting pulled over, ‘magix me’ will often throw a ‘sheet’ over my car. In this case, it’s black, to match the car and pavement color. This sheet is essentially an invisibility cloak. As the sheet settles over my vehicle, I visualize my car becoming invisible- blending into the road and traffic.

Another thing I have done is while driving on slippery roads, I will visualize yellow/gold energy (I don’t know why) around each of my tires that can lead up to my hands/arms. This energy is geared to help grip the road. To keep my car steady, and to help me brake faster if needed.

I have no clue if anyone else does anything like this, but I’m placing them here for consideration all the same.

More mundane solutions:

I feel like a post on car magix and car protections wouldn’t be complete without a section on mundane stuff. For those of us who spend a lot of time on the road, I think its important that you consider having some essentials in your car as well. These items could be magixed in their own right, if you wanted:

  • Things that keep your car running well such as jumper cables and tire gauges
  • Things that keep you safe when your car breaks down such as blankets, emergency water and food and reflectors
  • Things that help keep you alive in emergency situations such as fire starters, window breaking tools and multi-tool knives

As with all things regarding cars, I advise you to keep your car in good working order, as magix will only take you so far. Please be sure to drive safely and responsibly.

 

 
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Posted by on April 13, 2014 in Devo Magix Series

 

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Modern Mythology: I <3 Balls Day

Gather around the camp fire once again as we delve into the myths and stories of our religion!

Set

During the ongoing battle for the Kingship of Egypt, Set and Horus found themselves in a large predicament. You see, each deity had been damaged from this battle – one losing his eye, and the other his testicles. It’s very painful to lose your testicles, you know! Through a series of wiley tricks and maneuvers, however, both were able to get their missing pieces restored to their former glory.

What Set didn’t know at the time, however, is that Thoth – “Astute in His Plans Who Fashioned All Things, Including Set’s Nuts” – gave him an even better set of balls as a way of saying thank you for taking the bad rap for the whole “felling Osiris” thing. When Set received his new shiny set of testicles, he was amazed at their awesomeness. It was like having a disco in his pants.

He was so ecstatic about his new hardware that Set ran to the highest point of Egypt and yelled out across the land “These are the best balls ever! Look at how amazing they are! I will surely be able to use them to smite apep every day!” Everyone was so happy for his new shiny testicles that a festival was proclaimed in their honor. And in our modern calendar, that day is February 14th- the day of <3-ing Your Balls.

You can see the effects of this festival almost everywhere you look! There are stands of balls in grocery stores. Ball shaped candies and candy containers. Ball shaped jewelry. Ball shaped everything! All as glorious and magnificent as Set’s newborn testicles.

When celebrating this holiday, it is customary to deck out your shrine is as many ball-shaped items as possible. Set loves the color red, so the redder, the better. However, he does has a soft side and can appreciate balls of other colors. Be sure to spend some time reflecting on your own personal badassery and taking the time to remember just how great you really are. You can also use this time to ask Set and Thoth in assistance in making your own balls better- as a means of seizing your potential and making tough choices that require balls to make!

With the proper heka, Thoth can assist you in creating a disco in your pants, too!

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Every year around February we see nearly every grocery store in America fill up with tons of pink and red Valentine’s Day stuff. Usually, this is a holiday I don’t participate in at all. I’ve never cared for the concept behind it, and I’ve just never really gotten into the habit of doing anything for V-Day.

However, my foray into Kemeticism has changed my perspective on this holiday. Set’s main symbol is his balls. For most of us, we take a standard heart and turn it upside down to make it into a set of balls (which may not be too far off of what the heart used to mean). So now the second half of January and the first half of February is nothing but balls for me. It’s turned from a holiday about romance into a holiday about Set.

And his balls.

I feel like this can be shifted into a modern festival or rite that we can use within our community for seizing the day, taking hold of our courage and reminding ourselves of our greatness (in the same way that Set reminds me of his greatness all the time). If you’d like to give it a shot, there are two methods for this particular heka. One version, which involves a large chocolate heart, can be found here. The second, which involves good old fashions paper, is below:

  • Sheet of paper- 8.5″x11″. Any color will do, I recommend red or purple.
  • Writing utensils of whatever color you’d like.
  • A situation or trait you need to find some courage to tackle.
  • This tutorial about folding.

Start with your paper- figure out what situation you need some courage with. On the inside of your paper, write the situation down. You can be as specific or generalized as you need to be. Feel free to use sigils or different colors for different things. Get as creative as you want.

Then, fold up your paper into the shape of the balls using the tutorial above. If possible, place your balls in a location where you can see them regularly. If your situation is at work, perhaps leave them on your desk. If it is something to do with money, maybe leave it in your wallet. If you’re unsure, leave them on your shrine for the gods to keep an eye on.

Hopefully the heka provided in this post can help you to gain some courage and celebrate your awesomeness this Valentine’s Day! If you have any questions regarding these rites, or try these rites out for yourself- please let me know!

Other Modern Mythology Posts:

 
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Posted by on January 21, 2014 in Kemeticism, Rambles

 

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Devo Magix: A Sa for Protection

The Sa was a commonly used amulet in the Middle Kingdom of ancient Egypt and literally represented “protection”. We’re not entirely sure what the Sa was exactly- some people think it was a life-preserver of sorts, others think that it was a rolled up herdsman’s shelter (Wilkinson, Reading Egyptian Art, 197). Regardless of what the Sa actually was, it became a symbol used largely for protective purposes- and that protection could range from childbirth to traveling and was often held by deities such as Tawaret and Bes.

For this project, we’re going to create a Sa out of fabric that you can use to protect yourself, your family, or whatever you want. The supplies you’ll need are:

  • Scissors
  • Fabric (I chose red)
  • Cordage or yarn in whatever color you’d like
  • Markers (I chose black)

Sa supplies

You will want to start by cutting your fabric into a rectangular shape. Make sure that you have enough space to write your petition onto the fabric and keep in mind how tall you’ll want your Sa to be- because you’ll want to cut the fabric to about double that length.

Once the fabric is cut, decide what you’d like protection over or from. The fabric will serve as a vehicle of protection- so you’ll want to imbue it with your needs. You could anoint your fabric with oils, cleanse it with salt or natron, leave it outside to soak up solar or lunar juju, or you could leave it in your shrine case for a predetermined amount of time- whatever will help your situation and needs.

Sa002

For my particular situation, I chose to write a series of sigils onto the fabric. Like with any amuletic practices, I mentally focused while writing and made sure to keep my mind on the task at hand.

The cordage is the next step. You can choose whatever colors or numbers you prefer. I would recommend not making your braids too thick, or it could cause problems with rolling up the Sa later. If braiding isn’t your thing, you could easily take a few cords and tie a series of knots into the threads with numbers that correspond to your needs.

In this case, I chose colors and numbers that corresponded to various members of my family. I braided up the the cords and knotted each end. Like with the fabric, you could choose to anoint each cord with oil or allow them to soak up energies as you see fit. Feel free to get creative with preparing the materials that you’ll be using to make your Sa.

Then, you will want to lay your braid/cordage onto the edge of the fabric like so:

Sa003

And you will slowly wrap the braid up into the fabric like this:

Sa004

Sa005

It can take a few tries to get the fabric tightly wound around the braid inside. Once the fabric is fully wrapped around the braid, I held it like this:

Sa05

You will take another section of cordage and tightly wrap it around the joint of the Sa. You can use whatever colors you like, tie as many knots as you like, or create bows if that works best for you. In the end, I ended up with this:

Sa02

You could also wrap the cordage around the body of the Sa, if you wanted. Many traditional representations do have multiple knots tied around the loop of the amulet. Alternatively, you could tie another loop at the top of your Sa so that you could wear it on a necklace.

Place the Sa wherever you will feel its benefits. If it’s for protection while traveling- place it in the car. If its for your child, perhaps placing it in their pocket or backpack would work well. If its for your house, you could place it on the hearth, or a central location where the family gathers and mingles.

If anyone out there makes their own Sa, I’d love to hear how it turns out!

Other examples of this in action:

Other Devo Magix Posts:

 

 
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Posted by on January 4, 2014 in Devo Magix Series, Kemeticism

 

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