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Category Archives: Dream Journal

A log of different dreams that I’ve had.

Dream Journal: Gunshot in the Chamber

I had a dream a few nights ago. I was debating if I should put it up here or not, as I wasn’t sure if it was important at all. Well, it’s still bothering me, so I’m putting it up here for my records.

windows like this.

I was in a room… a very very large room. It was long and rectangular, and probably as large as my apartment in some ways. I was standing towards the back of the room, and you could see a grouping of large windows to my right. They had a type of metal lattice on them. Directly across from me, at the far end of the room was a door. You could see railing outside- so there must have been stairs, and a lower level beneath that. So a very large building with two floors.

There were two men in the room with me. The main character of this dream had shoulder length brown hair. It had a slight curl to it. He was in his underwear… of some earlier period or another. He was talking with some other guy. The man, who I didn’t see, was giving the main character information… stuff that he had promised to give to someone else, or information that someone else was demanding and he was refusing to comply. Something with information being given… when it might not be safe to do so. The main character takes these documents and places them in some sort of holster or belt that wraps around his thigh. Apparently, this would be hidden while he was dressed. I remember he was in the process of putting waist area garments on.. belts and such. There is one piece that sticks out to me. It was almost like an elastic belt with a ruffle on it… or gathered satin on it. It was golden. My SO theorizes it could have been a part of a codpiece. I have no idea.

Ruffled ribbon was kinda like this.

Apparently, the first guy had left. I’m still standing back in my corner/area. I think that the room was divided a bit, and I was standing at the division. Behind me, it seemed as though it was dark, perhaps a bed was back there, maybe something else all together. I remember I was wearing a dress of some kind. Floor length. Long sleeves that were tight to my forearms. Some type of pointed boot with laces. I don’t remember the dress being overly full at the hips… and it seems there were some layers of lace or other fabric beneath.

Next, there is a knock at the main character’s door. Someone enters, or forces his way in. Suddenly, he has shot our main character- possibly for the information swapped before. I remember at this time I was hiding in the division that was the room. I would look out briefly, and then tuck back in so that I wouldn’t be seen. I don’t know where the assailant went after shooting our guy (in the torso somewhere), but I soon ran out to the doorway and yelled for help. It would seem that the person who wanted the information was down there with a group of people (some trusted, some not), so I was busy trying to get one of the trusted people in before the enemy came up. I remember letting one man in, and shutting and locking the door behind us. We ran over to the body and were trying to get the papers from him before others came in. I still don’t know if he lived or not.

And there it ended. I’m not sure what to make of it, but it sticks out for sure.

 
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Posted by on March 11, 2012 in Dream Journal

 

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Waves and Dreams

Last night, I had a dream. I was by the ocean. Next to the ocean was a shrine (or so I told myself in my dream). It was an odd shape. It was tall, like 5 stories tall. It was round, and almost conical shape. There were hundreds of stairs leading from the beach to the top. They were made of a black stone. Everywhere else on this cone was this light grey stone. At the top, there was a shrine made of wood. Beneath the shrine, and above all of the rock, there was sand. I remember sitting on the wooden floor, and dangling my feet over (something I would never do in real life. Too scared of heights). The guy who ran the place told me not to touch the sand. AKA not to destroy or mess up his sand.

I don’t really remember what the shrine itself was like. It, too, was circular. I think it had something in the middle- maybe a bell. There was a canopy of some kind, to protect from the elements, perhaps. After I had been there for a while, the Main Guy, an assistant and I were walking around back- away from the ocean. I turn to look over, and the sun is blazing- sunset. The waves start to crest up. The water was higher than where the sun was- you could see the light through the waves. It was such a vivid appearance. There was a plane that was coming our direction, some little puddle jumper. The wave nearly clipped it- but the plane did make it through, coming right over us and continuing on. I continued to watch these waves. They got larger and larger. Rivaling where we were in height. I remember as this was going on, that I needed to remember this dream. As the waves got even higher, I was thinking something… repeating something. But I can’t remember what. Suddenly, the light goes out, the waves crash over us, and I completely black out.

Next thing I see, I’m sitting in this shrine, floating on the water. I look out to see the conical base sans the wood topper on the beach. There are people looking for us.

I’m not really sure what this dream means. It reminds me of another dream I had- where I was in a dated house, from the 20’s or so. I was with a black family, we lived in the middle of farmland. Suddenly, waves over took us, and we were holding onto the house to survive. It’s very similar to that. The waves in both dreams were very very vivid. But this time, the coloration was different. I usually take waves and water to be emotions. So that emotions are overtaking me (and perhaps those around me). The sand is interesting, because it’s a purifier. Normally, they say not to build things on sand (because of it’s unstable nature), however in this case- it’s possible that the sand saved us. Had the shrine been attached to the base, we would have all been sucked out of the structure and drug out to sea. The fact that it’s a shrine also seems important somehow, though I’m not sure what.

As always, any thoughts or ideas is welcome.

I hope you guys don’t mind me talking about my health, but I wanted to have a place to post my hypnotherapy stuff. I want to keep track of my progress somewhere, and here is as good a place as any.

Some of you may remember me discussing my health issues a year back. Well, they’re still around, and I’ve been working with non-conventional ways to get rid of them (read: not a Western medicine doctor). My current doctor feels that acupuncture isn’t working, and recommended that I try the hypnotherapy for a bit. So here I am. Today I had my first session and I really really feel that this is in line with what O would want me to do. I almost feel that his work is almost too much for me to do by myself- and that working through this stuff with a helper is my best bet. So that is what I’m aiming to do.

Today we discussed a plethora of things. My relationship, my lack of social life, my religious practices, my food problems. And of course, my stress. I apparently need to learn to love myself more and I need to change my perceptions of my life and how others view me. I always feel out of place, like no one likes me. I always feel like I’m the square peg in the round hole. If what I’m understanding from her, it’s just that I’ve met round people, not square people (for the most part). That there is nothing wrong with me for being me, and that I need to accept that somehow.

I imagine this will take a lot of work, but I’m willing to go the long haul if it helps me overall. I need to figure this stuff out, because it’s not going to go away on its own. So I look forward to whatever this might bring.

Today’s hypnosis dealt with self love. In the hypnosis, she talked about seeing my inner love, my inner self. And giving this inner love and self… useless stuff, bad stuff- and letting my inner loving me purify it (you’re not supposed to focus heavily on what she says… so it’s a bit furry). I remember standing across from a me… I remember me having hakama on, of all things; along with a sword and a high pony tail (I would have sworn I fell out of Kenshin). The other me had long, blonde hair. There was glowing light, and I couldn’t see much. I remember giving her.. stuff. I remember one of my things was wrapped like a present. After I’d give her things, she’d have me flip my hands over, she’d hold onto them, and I’d glow. It was really weird.

So yes, that’s it for now. I’ll try and post these visits as I have them, so that I have a record of them. They’ll be getting their own Hypnosis tag.

 

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Thrift Shop Finds

Dream entry from LJ posted: June 22, 2011

 

I had a dream last night that I was in a thrift shop. I was walking around, and I noticed this small little…. dresser type thing sitting on a shelf. A nice red wood, something close to cherry. I look at it, thinking it looks really nice. It had some drawers in it, and as I opened them, you could see Oriental motif that was painting on the insides of the drawers. Slowly, as the dream progressed, the dresser looked more and more asian in nature (this thing was only, probably a foot wide, maybe 8 inches tall. Quite small). I remember at the end of inspecting this piece, I saw a feng shui disc inside of one of the drawers.

Deciding I wasn’t going to get that piece, I set it down, and as I went to turn away, I saw another item on the shelf that was of interest. There was this box that opened up, and it looked like a daruma meets a taiko drum meets a kokeshi. There were three wooden ‘dolls’ inside of it (I use dolls because I don’t know what else to call them- figures perhaps). The one on the left looked almost like a taiko drum- as though the black hair was created by stretching a black leather over the top, and nailing it into place. The figure on the far right looked kinda like a kokeshi, or maybe one of those Russian stacking dolls. At least, the shape did. They were all natural wood color- a creamy brown honey color. As I inspect these dolls, I find out that they have ofuda inside of them. And I remember that each one had a small tidbit about who the figure was, and what they oversaw (which is common on a lot of pagan statuary). I can’t remember the names for the life of me now. The only thing I remember is something like “Irainagi”, which I’m pretty sure is not a legit name D: As the dream progressed, the box warped, and also included tiny little offerings- almost like offerings in Kemetic faith that never spoil. Little replicas of what you should offer them. I more or less thought of it as a “get started now!” kit. That you had the ofuda, the offerings, the statues, good to go! lol.

I set that down, and the last thing I picked up is the… hardest to pin down. I don’t remember what it looked like originally, I just remember by the end, I had many different items laying around- almost like I took them about of a chest or box or something. I remember two things of importance. One was an omamori. In the style of a keychain or cell phone strap. It was a bright neon green. Almost to the point of being teal. And the other items of importance were blades- knives, swords and the like. There were tons of them by the time I was done. I remember saying that one blade was a replica of something out of a manga- Sheishirou’s blade (a character from Tokyo Babylon and X/1999). Now that I’m awake, I don’t know what that could mean- since Sheishirou didn’t have any particular weapons in the manga. He preferred to kill people with more indirect means. I do, however, remember the details on the blade being white (handle, scabbard, etc).

And by that point I lost my dream, and it started to shift into a manga sequence of some randomness. Which I assume is irrelevant to the prior portions of the dream. I’m not sure what to make of the dream. The pieces are Shinto in nature, but the elements in some ways are very Kemetic. I’ve never seen a Shinto shrine or kamidama with actual icons in it, only the ofuda. Combining the ofuda and the statue reminds me of an open statue, more than anything. And mix that with the never dying offerings- it’s very Kemetic in nature. So why the Shinto stylistics? I just don’t get it. For me, the dresser type thing at the beginning reminded me of a place to set a deity shrine/statue. Which plays into the figures I found afterwards. What the feng shui disc inside of the dresser could mean- I don’t know. And the last bit with the omamori and knives? Makes me even more lost. Omamori are meant for good luck, AFAIK. My s.o. keeps one on his cell phone. So I’m not sure if my brain is telling me to obtain one, or that I’ll be lucky in the future, or how that relates. And the blade is the most confusing of all. Esp. how it might be related to the manga character that I thought it was related to.

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Revisited:

I’ve been thinking about last week’s dream, and what it could mean. With this, I’ve also been contemplating Set’s recent pushes to begin performing ritual again. I wonder if the two aren’t connected.

With performing ritual, I feel from him that it’s important- but it’s also important that I take my time. That I get it done right, that I don’t rush into it, and make it worse for myself in the end. Steady, slow planning seems to be the idea. So I’ve been sitting back, letting it mull around.

There are a few snags I’m hitting- and this is where the dream may come in.

I’ve been trying to blend two paths (I use blend loosely- incorporate may be a better word). However, I don’t seem to feel the same urges for one, as I do the other. Kemetic practice calls to me. I want to (or am driven to, or being asked to) perform rites for the Kemetic side. I want to have daily connection with the god/s of Kemet. However, with Shinto- I have little to no desire to sit in front of the kamidana. The Kami don’t seem to want to have me sit in front of the kamidana either (at least, I don’t feel a pull for this in my waking life- why the symbols show up in my dreams, I’m not sure). Now, every night, before I pass out, I generally run through the motions mentally- thanking them for watching over, for being there, etc. And it works for me. However, I question if it’s enough.

My biggest issue is trying to make a balance btwn the two. That’s been my largest hurdle. Once I get past that (and just focus on the Kemetic side), I see that my first issue is a case. I want a case. Right now, Set sits out on a makeshift table with some of his items. It’s not very special, there is nothing there that gets me in the mood to perform ritual. So I think that’s what I need first- ironically, it was the first item in my dream. If I use the dream’s symbols, I could guess that finding the right case will help to send me in the right direction (which is why I found the Feng Shui compass inside). Then, I’d need to figure out the statue/icon issue. I have a Set statue, and I doubt that he wants me to open the statue. However,  I will need to decide what to do about the Kami, and whether I want to get ofuda for them, use the kamidana, etc. The next thing in my dream was offerings. This past weekend I went to a local Japanese grocery. They had the tiny food shaped erasers there. They looked almost exactly like the mini food offerings in my dreams. So I wonder if perhaps I will take from a friend of mine- and use ‘everlasting offerings’ to help garnish my practice. I didn’t purchase any yet because I felt it wasn’t the time.

So if anything, I’m thinking the dream is a sign of two things- one is east meets west. The dream was full of blended concepts- nothing being 100% one way or the other. I feel it’s trying to tell me to figure out how to bring the two halves together- as this is what Set told me this path would do for me- make the two halves whole. So that is probably the first message. The second would perhaps be a general order of things- finding the case, ironing out what to do about icons and offerings, and then perhaps purchasing things from the Shrine, or making a shrine visit, or donating to the shrine (symbolized by the omamori and blade).

So far, that’s what I’m thinking. Now I have to do the actual work.

 
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Posted by on August 5, 2011 in Dream Journal

 

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The Procession in the Warehouse

Dream entry from LJ posted: March 10, 2011

 

Last night I had a dream. In this dream, I was apparently in Japan. Throughout the beginning of the dream (which I don’t remember), I was told many times that I should look into getting a job with a Japanese magazine company- that they were hiring tons of people (even though the most common job that I get recommended is to teach English). So I guess I set out to do some of my own exploring, and left the group of people I was with. I was in an industrial area. As  I walked towards this warehouse, I noticed these HUGE holes in the ground. They were the size of an average room (12-14 feet), and were quite deep- maybe 2-3 stories. They were square. In my mind, I thought that they put the magazines in there. Heh.

I then worked my way into the warehouse itself. After a bit of walking around, I noticed that I was getting lost. I then noticed this procession of people walking through the warehouse. It was led by a guy who I would assume to be a Shinto priest. He wore hakama (which I Believe were white) and a darker kimono. As he walked around, he had his arms crossed over his chest (think of a mummy sarcophagus), and in his hands were these two wedge shaped things…. like fans when they’re closed. \ / kind of shape. I thnk they were lighter in color… possibly pine. And I can’t remember if there was writing on them.

Behind this guy, were a bunch of people in traditional Japanese clothes. As he walked to a small table (like an altar), the people following him sorta encircled him and watched. After a moment, they moved to a different room. I decided to join up with them, and see what happens. We went through a few rooms, and at the last room, the main guy seemed to need 3 people for whatever reason. Someone else in the group told me I should go up there. I replied ‘no, I’m good here”. He kept pressuring me, and I kept telling him no. I eventually moved back into the group a bit more. As I did, the wind caught up my kimono, and I noticed there was a pattern on it. Curves of amber and orange on a white background. It’s not a kimono I own, or have ever seen. It was quite pretty.

I remember talking to a guy in the group. He wore a dark grey kimono. Seemed more like a yukata or haori, though. I remember his hair was styled in a youthful, modern sense. Like someone out of a j-pop group.

And that as it. I’m not sure if what I saw was a type rite that I don’t know about. If the wedge shaped things are real, or mean something… etc. But it stuck out.

 
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Posted by on August 5, 2011 in Dream Journal

 

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Fish in the River and a Wedding

Dream entry from LJ posted: Feb 23, 2011

 

I’m recalling two dreams I had this week, as I’ve been too lazy to update my journal.

The first dream was Monday night. Or maybe Sunday night. Anyways. In the dream, it was nighttime. I was with a diving crew. We were diving into a river- to look for a body. Or something equivalent to that. In the dream, one of our team members had gone against protocol, and had managed to block up/drain the river. So there was almost no water in it. As I looked around, I saw lots of normal ‘flat fish’ flopping around in the water, gasping for air. However, as I looked around, there were tons of small goldfish (of all makes and models) sitting on the bottom of the river, just chilling. Somehow, they managed to be in the water enough to survive, and be happy. Or something.

Not 100% sure what the dream means. Other than, be a goldfish, and you’ll survive. Or something.

The second dream I had last night. It was of my wedding. In this dream, I had gone to LV first… for something. Then, we showed up at a building, for the wedding. In the dream, I had longer hair. My stylistics made me think more of my cousins, than myself. The room was large, but dull. No real amount of color. Lots of chairs, of which we were only going to use a fraction. There was a minister walking around, and a photographer. I remember having my and my so’s picture taken in front of the doors of the building. Then we grabbed our stuff, and headed to the back of the building, where there was a restroom. I had people coming in, who I needed to change. I handed out a bunch of red clothes. Everyone was supposed to be wearing red. People were complaining that my wedding sucked, or that the clothing choices sucked… etc. My only response was ‘fuck you’. Every time. That’s really all I remember.

This is the second wedding dream I’ve had. I don’t remember when the last one was, but at that time, it was in a darker, round room. Things had gone wrong, the ceremony was interrupted by people who didn’t want us to wed, etc. Then at our reception, the catering ppl were slacking off, and we ended up walking around, servicing our ppl. It was weird. So I’m not sure waht the wedding motif means. But it seems like it means something.

 
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Posted by on August 5, 2011 in Dream Journal

 

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The Disheveled Case

Dream entry from LJ posted: Feb 18, 2011

 

I’ve had a few dreams lately featuring a while fish. The fish is in the shape of a portly goldfish, with long flowing fins. He’s about the size of my palm, or slightly larger. In a store, he would run upwards of $30. In the last dream where this fish was featured, I walked into a room, and saw a fishtank. It was probably 50gal, it was short, and wide- made for goldfish. In this tank, there were my goldfish, and a ton of guppies. These guppies were laying on the bottom. They looked as though they were near death. I started to freak out, and began pulling out test strips to test the water, so that I could keep these guppies from dieing. I pull the strips out, dunk them in, and examine their colors. The colors were nothing like what is on normal test strips. And they were testing for things that you wouldn’t test for in water (i.e. hexavalent chromium?). I freak out, and decide we need to go to the pet store to get things to keep the fish alive.

My s.o. and I head to the pet store. An associate walks up to me, and asks if  I need anything. Suddenly my s.o. says that we would like to purchase a tank that he’s pulled out, and points to an aquarium on the wall, where there is a white goldfish inside. The associate says okay, and begins to get the fish, and I start to freak out and ask “what about the aquarium at home? We need to fix that first! Not buy more fish!” The dream suddenly cuts, and I’m standing in another room, with an aquarium set up. There is a store associate with me. We’re watching two fish in a tank. The tank struck me as being a “hospital tank”, though she said we were waiting to see if the two fish would get along. Inside, there is my main goldfish (which I actually own in real life), and the white goldfish. The two would swim away from one another, turn and swim towards eachother, and then sorta… rub past one another. Mine would raise his dorsal when getting close- which the associate noted. Not sure what was going on, but that was the end of the dream.

Both dreams with this white goldfish have my s.o. giving me the fish. Or trying to buy the fish. I’ve never seen a fully white goldfish before, so I don’t even know that they exist, or what they mean. Yet, it seems the dream is relevant, or at least, the symbolism is.

 
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Posted by on August 5, 2011 in Dream Journal

 

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The White Fish

Dream entry from LJ posted: Dec 28, 2010

 

I’ve had a few dreams lately featuring a while fish. The fish is in the shape of a portly goldfish, with long flowing fins. He’s about the size of my palm, or slightly larger. In a store, he would run upwards of $30. In the last dream where this fish was featured, I walked into a room, and saw a fishtank. It was probably 50gal, it was short, and wide- made for goldfish. In this tank, there were my goldfish, and a ton of guppies. These guppies were laying on the bottom. They looked as though they were near death. I started to freak out, and began pulling out test strips to test the water, so that I could keep these guppies from dieing. I pull the strips out, dunk them in, and examine their colors. The colors were nothing like what is on normal test strips. And they were testing for things that you wouldn’t test for in water (i.e. hexavalent chromium?). I freak out, and decide we need to go to the pet store to get things to keep the fish alive.

My s.o. and I head to the pet store. An associate walks up to me, and asks if  I need anything. Suddenly my s.o. says that we would like to purchase a tank that he’s pulled out, and points to an aquarium on the wall, where there is a white goldfish inside. The associate says okay, and begins to get the fish, and I start to freak out and ask “what about the aquarium at home? We need to fix that first! Not buy more fish!” The dream suddenly cuts, and I’m standing in another room, with an aquarium set up. There is a store associate with me. We’re watching two fish in a tank. The tank struck me as being a “hospital tank”, though she said we were waiting to see if the two fish would get along. Inside, there is my main goldfish (which I actually own in real life), and the white goldfish. The two would swim away from one another, turn and swim towards eachother, and then sorta… rub past one another. Mine would raise his dorsal when getting close- which the associate noted. Not sure what was going on, but that was the end of the dream.

Both dreams with this white goldfish have my s.o. giving me the fish. Or trying to buy the fish. I’ve never seen a fully white goldfish before, so I don’t even know that they exist, or what they mean. Yet, it seems the dream is relevant, or at least, the symbolism is.

 
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Posted by on August 5, 2011 in Dream Journal

 

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Weddings and a Bast

Dream entry from LJ posted: Aug 24, 2010

 

Last week I had two dreams about weddings. The first dream was of me and my s.o. getting married. The ceremony was about to start, and I came down this spiral staircase, and the lady who was leading the ceremony freaked out, screamed and left. So we just continued on to the reception without the ceremony (I guess). Everyone was eating, and I decided I needed to give them cake… like the waiters who had served the food decided to leave or something. I was also supposed to give them juice… but there wasn’t enough juice (two bottles for, like, 100 ppl) or glasses… it was bizaar. Yet despite all of the setbacks, we still had a good time.

The second wedding dream, I don’t remember a lot about. It was held in a place with horses… like a barn or breezeway. I don’t know the two who got married, but my family was there all the same. It was odd.

Then I had a flash- a vision while asleep. A bronze statue of Aset. She was standing, wearing the standard sheath gown. She had the sundisk and horns upon her head. Everything was the same color except for a red ribbon around her hips. I thought “I should do that to my statue!” Only to wake up later and go “what? My statue is kneeling, that won’t work.” I have yet to figure out what it means.

I asked Aset for help with this last night. She gave me a dream this morning that didn’t help… I was working for an auction house meets a pawn shop. Some Asian kid was coming in, and giving up almost everything he owned. He was really distraught over giving up some rock cut jewelry of his- done in an Asian style, I think out of Jade. He kept going on about it being Bast- that she would be upset of him giving her stuff away… etc. On and ON about Bast… oy. The two pieces I remember of her was a purple bast with silver accents, and a pinky colored mala/rosary that has an Asian styled cat as Bast, and some really interesting beads as well.

As always, I ask for help, and get something else that seems totally unrelated. *sigh*

 
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Posted by on August 5, 2011 in Dream Journal

 

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