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Year of Rites: March

02 Apr

I thought February was pretty bad. I thought that maybe with my coursework ending in the middle of March, that somehow things would get better.

March was awful. March was worse.

I had been given permission to go off of a medication in late February, and it caught up to me in March. I was incredibly depressed all month. Anxiety attacks became a multiple-times-per-day thing. I spent most of my month overwhelmed and feeling like there was no way I was going to ever get anywhere or survive this at all.

I barely remember March, if I’m being honest. But I did manage to do all of my rituals, so at least there is that?

Monthly Ma’at

I remember the day, because I wrote notes about it in my bullet journal. But I don’t really recall the ritual. I know that I did the same rubric from January, and I don’t think I included the “Becoming Ma’at” section this month. Luckily I had food on hand, so the offerings were pretty solid.

But the day was garbage.

Akhu Rites

The akhu rites followed the day after my Monthly Ma’at rites, which made the akhu rites suffer. I was hungry and really wanted to hurry up and eat, and so I forgot to take pictures again, and so I don’t have anything to even show for the ritual. I don’t have any commentary, either, other than I did the same rubric from the previous two months.

Propitiation

The icon that I’ve been using for my propitiation rites has been slowly shifting each month. I got the inclination to add gold elements to the leaves and the forehead. I also added green elements to the ma’at feather and to the general background. We’ll see if I get another memo to update the icon for next month.

For this month’s propitiation, I decided to try something called “vooing.” I learned about it while at my PDC and decided to look into it on my own time because, honestly, I needed any edge I could get this month.

The “Voo Breath” is a modality that is often used in somatic therapies, and is basically a sort of gentle “massage” for your viscera, or so I’ve seen it described. It’s a lot like chanting, and it seems to help calm the Vagus nerve, which is largely responsible for our anxiety responses in life. It can look a bit like this.

Ironically, I had the inclination to do something similar to this from day one, but I could never bring myself to do it (probably due to anxiety, unsurprisingly.) However, I guess finding out that it’s a “legit thing” caused me to reconsider whether it was worth trying. And I guess I got desperate enough or felt safe enough to do it, and so I decided to give it a go for my propitiation this month. I figured if it helps calm me down and help me center myself, perhaps it would work for the Iyrt Ra… right? I personally enjoyed the experience, but I can’t comment on whether the NTRW are for it or not.

I also made a heka art piece that I offered as well, which you can see in the image above. Also, yes, more tacos.

Execration

By the time my execration rolled around, I actually started to feel marginally better. I had a shift somewhere in between both of these rituals about my situation, and somehow I was somewhat more back in the game, but only by the tiniest bit. The bit was so tiny that I basically put off doing my execration until the very end of the day. Why? I don’t know. It just seemed like I had no idea what to do or what I was doing, and so I put it off.

But I did eventually get it done. There was nothing particularly creative about this execration, and the only modification that I made to the rite was to include a bit from My Heart My Mother, which sat happened to quote in their recent post:

O Bull of the Two Lands… I am divine, I am an Akh, I am powerful and I am seated on the throne of Atum… make a place for me amongst you so that I may sail with Re in the Duat.

I also had the urge to make a second ma’at feather in silver to complement the gold feather I had already made. That also debuted with the execration.

He Goes Forth

This was another example of my wanting to do a ritual, but life got in the way. The Sunday that this rite fell on was way too hectic, and so I then planned to do it the day after, April 1, instead. But then I ended up having to take grandpa to the hospital that morning, and most of my day was eaten up dealing with all of that.

I had wanted to shift my focus of this ritual to be more about thanking Wpwt for the things that people have told me have manifested with their petitions they sent in. Originally, I wanted to give him a big meal and everything.

But life often has other plans.

And so I ended up just throwing together what I could find (lol candy) and hoping that it wouldn’t count against me too much. I realized when I was at the “cleanse the altar” part of my ritual, that I forgot to dust first, and so I ended up making a nice wet pile of dirt on the altar space — not my most ideal setup. You’ll note in the image above that the shrine space is different, and that’s because I felt more inclined to do the ritual where his statue “lives”, which is in front of Aset and my ma’at feathers.

I spent a fair amount of time doing some of the voo breath for him to make up for the lack of offerings. And I can’t really figure out why, but it feels like I’m giving of myself when I do it, and so I may start to add this to all of my rites moving forward. I’m hoping that I can actually give him a proper set off offerings next month to make up for this month’s lackluster-ness.

Final Thoughts

This month was a mess. I was a mess. I am a mess. But despite all of that, I was able to still get my rites done. Albeit, not in the more graceful manner that I would have preferred. But again, its important that we do what we can, even if it’s not perfect. And if nothing else, I have yet to miss a rite, although my track record for meeting my own expectations is still pretty bad. I am hoping to write new rubrics in April, in time to be used for May. So I guess we’ll see what next month brings.

 
2 Comments

Posted by on April 2, 2019 in Kemeticism, Making Ma'at, Year of Rites

 

Tags: , , , , , , , ,

2 responses to “Year of Rites: March

  1. pear

    April 3, 2019 at 11:53 am

    Devo, considering all the crap you’re dealing with, your consistency with your rituals is admirable. Thank you for your honest sharing, even if the honest truth isn’t as flattering as you might like it to be.

    Take care and keep breathing ❤

     
  2. Setken

    April 10, 2019 at 10:41 pm

    Thank you for the post and keep getting well.

     

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