If going through January was like having 3 spoons to work with, February was like having the equivalent of
Which is to say, I am surprised I managed to even get through everything and not drop too many balls. I started my permaculture course this month, and so my weekends are now being filled mostly by classes in a city two hours away, and I didn’t expect it to eat up so many spoons.
But it did.
I was able to get all of the rites done, but I didn’t write any new rubrics for any of them. I simply modified the preexisting rubrics in a few places to make it fit with what I was doing and went ahead with that. Hopefully I can get back to making new rubrics once the PDC is done in March.
Due to the PDC, my Mondays have become the “let’s do all of the errands and chores you would have done on the weekend in one day!” day. So this month’s Monthly Ma’at ended up happening much later in the day than I prefer — because I had been out getting things done all day. I wrote my own version of the “Becoming Ma’at” text that I had mentioned in last month’s recap. It was a task I shoved in during break time at class that weekend, because that’s how much I was running behind on everything.
This month’s akhu rites were conveniently on the date of the one year anniversary of my grandmother’s death. I originally had wanted to do rites for her at her designated area (I guess it’s a shrine? I’m not sure,) but I had too many things go on that day, and it just didn’t happen. I opted to clean the space instead, and then I did the same rites that I did back in January at my Kemetic shrine and called it a day.
I spent the majority of the day in reflection about what has happened in the past year since she’s gone, but otherwise, nothing of note.
Also look at the fail-tastic offerings job I did there.
I managed to finish the artwork for my propitiation setup. I made sure to clear away time a few days in advance to try and get it done. I had nearly scrapped this painting as well, but I decided to go with it and just see if it would grow on me with time.
This was one of the few days where I didn’t have a load of appointments to go to, and so I was able to actually sit down and do a proper ritual with planned-out offerings and all of that. But ultimately, I didn’t do as much as I wanted (still) because I was just too damned depressed to even bother with dancing or trying to dance or anything like that. Seriously, my depression shot the entire month in the kneecaps.
The execration was probably the most successful and fulfilling rite that I did this month. I decided that I would mimic my rites for New Years, and that I would do the burning portion outside where I didn’t have to worry about setting my house on fire or smoke permeating my belongings. I also decided I would try doing art as a sort of petition, instead of a traditional written petition.
This method uses a similar idea that we often used in art therapy, which is where you focus on a particular topic or idea that you’re trying to work through, and you let your body paint whatever it sees fit, and you do very little to stop the process. You simply observe the process and any sort of emotions or thoughts that come up while you’re doing it.
So I let my body make this thing and then I… set it on fire.
One thing that consistently came up while I was working on this particular ritual is “but what are you keeping?” You can see in the image above that there is a tiny bit of that very text on the upper right portion of the execration pot. I’m still not entirely sure what I’m going to do about it, but it was a theme across the entire execration process.
I then went back inside and gave the regular rites and offerings that you’d normally give.
Wpwt: He Goes Forth
I also decided somewhere in the middle of the month that I would try doing another ritual to Wpwt at the end of the month. Partially to thank him for the progress I had seen made on several fronts, and partially to give him updates and ask him to help further some of these petitions in a particular way.
I had been out at appointments most of the morning and was starving when I got home. I decided I should just use my lunch as the offering instead of eating lunch first and trying to make room in my tummy for eating whatever I offered. But turns out I was so hungry that I ate most of it before I remembered that I hadn’t taken a photo. So no photo for you.
For this ritual, I decided to modify where I held it. I opted to have it down at my low table, something I’m more used to in my work Over There. I wanted to see if merging some aspects of what I consider to be my traditional practices vs. what Kemeticism dictates would potentially make something that feels more natural to me. But I can’t say that it was necessarily any better than standing up for my rites.
Currently, I would argue that the biggest thing stopping me from really submersing myself into these rites is that I don’t have a lector. I find it difficult to translate rituals into actions and specific cadence if I’m having to hold a book and constantly keep an eye on where I’m at in the text. The stuff I’ve participated in Over There feels so much more natural to me because I can focus on (usually) the ritual actions and not having to worry so much about the reading (which takes up a lot of my brain space.)
I don’t think I’m going to be able to remedy that anytime soon. The only option I can think of is to record myself going through the verbal parts of the ritual, and then playback the rubric while I focus on the ritual actions, but it’s weird listening to yourself, and so I’m not sure that would work either.
I can also say that this month felt so much more sparse without the additional ritual festivals thrown in the mix. That tells me that even when I’m super stressed, I seemingly want to do this more than just once a week or so. I’m still not sure why some part of me likes doing the rites, since I don’t particularly feel any particular way after doing them.
All in all, I expect that I will be using the same rubrics for most of March’s rites, since I’m still not done with my coursework. My hope is that I can start crafting new rubrics for April’s rites.