Alternate title: Once you are claimed by a spirit, you will never own anything again.
If there is something to be said about a large portion of god-touched folks, astral travelers and spirit workers in the polytheism/pagan community, it’s that we have a knack for having a lot of stuff in our practices. Statuary, jewelry, doodads and bobbles, you name it- we’ve got it. I’m sure a lot of it stems from the notion that we have a bit of Magpie Syndrome: it’s shiny, so I want it. But you know who has an even bigger affinity for being a Magpie?
Deities and other Unseen entities.
I mean, I guess it makes sense. Egyptian gods, at least, used to have all sorts of things offered to them daily: bread, exotic flowers and perfumes, prisoners, the best cuts of meat and lots and lots of shiny gold and silver. But you’d think that deities would have more important stuff to be doing than claiming ever nicknack in my house as theirs. And what’s worse is that it’s not only my house where this happens, it seems to be a common problem with anyone that has a decent working communication method with their deities: a god comes in and then claims everything in a 5 mile radius of your living room is theirs.
Bill Cosby once had a comedy sketch that talked about his three year old going through a phrase where everything in the house was claimed as theirs. It’s marked with a very shrill “MINE” that reverbs through the house.
Gods are kind of like this. Non-physical entities and spirits of all kinds are kind of like this.
“Look at that thing you have. I want it. Put it on my shrine.”
“Look at that ugly thing in the store. I want it. Buy it for me.”
“Look at those rocks on the ground. I want them.”
And its seriously not just gods that do it. I used to share space with an astral woman who would literally stop me every few minutes to pick up various sticks, leaves, stones and other natural materials for use “later”. I have no clue what “later” entailed, but I eventually had to tell her no because it took too much time, and I didn’t have enough pockets on me. She also had a penchant for wanting the most expensive items in a store and raised hell when I wouldn’t get them for her.
Set has been known to demand tacky items- even if they aren’t of the best quality, because he likes things that are shiny and look like they are expensive. Or simply because he can have them. And apparently Set isn’t the only one.
As I’ve moved through the years and gained more Unseen entities in my life, I’ve noticed that more and more of my stuff is no longer mine. My menz own every bottle of perfume and every piece of jewelry I own. My Other Half (also a menz) has claimed a large portion of my wardrobe and a lot of my decorative boxes. Set has claimed a large portion of my stone collection and anything with a heart shape, gold of any sort, or anything shiny.
Many of these people have claimed specific tea cups and silverware items. Some of them have claimed books and journals. Another has claimed a pair of scissors, another my sewing machine, and every single knife I own belongs to someone else.
Slowly, one by one, these larger, older entities have done exactly like Bill’s kid, and claimed every single thing in my house. And to make it worse, they even argue over items from time to time. Much like my cousins used to argue over who got the ‘pretty princess’ cup, I can hear deities demanding to know why he got the “better” looking offering plate. Why didn’t I get that slice of cake? Why does his have more frosting? It’s like an Unseen pissing contest to see who can claim the most crap within my house. I can only imagine what will happen when I die, and people get these items with various spirits and gods attached to them. I can clearly imagine some random person placing a nicknack that used to be mine up on their mantle while some spirit screams at them that that is “not where it belongs”.
In addition to this, gods and spirits have a knack for showing up at the worst possible time to have a discussion. In the middle of a shower? That sounds like a great time to have a conference call with Ra, Bast, and Thoth. Feeling sicker than a dog and stuck on the toilet while your innards leak out your butt? That’s a good time to discuss life’s mysteries with your closest spirit-friend. Really need to sleep because you’ve got a big Thing to do the next day? This sounds like a good time for a spirit to relay their entire life story to you!
I’ll be the first to say that gods aren’t always around us, and its common to have them disappear from time to time (and if they are always there to respond, I recommend checking your discernment). But they seriously need to check their timing better. It is not polite to giving me the agenda for the next week’s tasks while I’m getting it on or taking a crap. And gods forbid you’re stuck with a spirit or entity that likes to be a shit, you’ll be stuck listening to the same song for three days straight while they whisper it in your ear.
Gods and deities may be big bad entities that can screw up your day, but have it be known that the more deities that hang around you, the more likely they are to claim all of your stuff and intrude on your personal time. Because while they put on an air of being older and mature, deep down, they are all really little kids at heart.
Little kids that scream MINE.