Modern Mythology: I <3 Balls Day

21 Jan

Gather around the camp fire once again as we delve into the myths and stories of our religion!


During the ongoing battle for the Kingship of Egypt, Set and Horus found themselves in a large predicament. You see, each deity had been damaged from this battle – one losing his eye, and the other his testicles. It’s very painful to lose your testicles, you know! Through a series of wiley tricks and maneuvers, however, both were able to get their missing pieces restored to their former glory.

What Set didn’t know at the time, however, is that Thoth – “Astute in His Plans Who Fashioned All Things, Including Set’s Nuts” – gave him an even better set of balls as a way of saying thank you for taking the bad rap for the whole “felling Osiris” thing. When Set received his new shiny set of testicles, he was amazed at their awesomeness. It was like having a disco in his pants.

He was so ecstatic about his new hardware that Set ran to the highest point of Egypt and yelled out across the land “These are the best balls ever! Look at how amazing they are! I will surely be able to use them to smite apep every day!” Everyone was so happy for his new shiny testicles that a festival was proclaimed in their honor. And in our modern calendar, that day is February 14th- the day of <3-ing Your Balls.

You can see the effects of this festival almost everywhere you look! There are stands of balls in grocery stores. Ball shaped candies and candy containers. Ball shaped jewelry. Ball shaped everything! All as glorious and magnificent as Set’s newborn testicles.

When celebrating this holiday, it is customary to deck out your shrine is as many ball-shaped items as possible. Set loves the color red, so the redder, the better. However, he does has a soft side and can appreciate balls of other colors. Be sure to spend some time reflecting on your own personal badassery and taking the time to remember just how great you really are. You can also use this time to ask Set and Thoth in assistance in making your own balls better- as a means of seizing your potential and making tough choices that require balls to make!

With the proper heka, Thoth can assist you in creating a disco in your pants, too!


Every year around February we see nearly every grocery store in America fill up with tons of pink and red Valentine’s Day stuff. Usually, this is a holiday I don’t participate in at all. I’ve never cared for the concept behind it, and I’ve just never really gotten into the habit of doing anything for V-Day.

However, my foray into Kemeticism has changed my perspective on this holiday. Set’s main symbol is his balls. For most of us, we take a standard heart and turn it upside down to make it into a set of balls (which may not be too far off of what the heart used to mean). So now the second half of January and the first half of February is nothing but balls for me. It’s turned from a holiday about romance into a holiday about Set.

And his balls.

I feel like this can be shifted into a modern festival or rite that we can use within our community for seizing the day, taking hold of our courage and reminding ourselves of our greatness (in the same way that Set reminds me of his greatness all the time). If you’d like to give it a shot, there are two methods for this particular heka. One version, which involves a large chocolate heart, can be found here. The second, which involves good old fashions paper, is below:

  • Sheet of paper- 8.5″x11″. Any color will do, I recommend red or purple.
  • Writing utensils of whatever color you’d like.
  • A situation or trait you need to find some courage to tackle.
  • This tutorial about folding.

Start with your paper- figure out what situation you need some courage with. On the inside of your paper, write the situation down. You can be as specific or generalized as you need to be. Feel free to use sigils or different colors for different things. Get as creative as you want.

Then, fold up your paper into the shape of the balls using the tutorial above. If possible, place your balls in a location where you can see them regularly. If your situation is at work, perhaps leave them on your desk. If it is something to do with money, maybe leave it in your wallet. If you’re unsure, leave them on your shrine for the gods to keep an eye on.

Hopefully the heka provided in this post can help you to gain some courage and celebrate your awesomeness this Valentine’s Day! If you have any questions regarding these rites, or try these rites out for yourself- please let me know!

Other Modern Mythology Posts:


Posted by on January 21, 2014 in Kemeticism, Rambles


Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , ,

21 responses to “Modern Mythology: I <3 Balls Day

  1. Senneferet

    January 21, 2014 at 2:26 pm

    Fantastic! I shall definitely be utilizing this in the coming months. Thank you!

    • von186

      January 21, 2014 at 8:07 pm

      Let me know how it turns out :3

  2. MeresAset

    January 21, 2014 at 4:50 pm

    Thank you for another great (and fun) post and video. I recently saw an article on the origin of the heart symbol in Roman times.

    It makes more sense that the heart be modeled after balls just as a symbol of fertility. I’m sure Set would enjoy what we do with the chocolate balls too. 😉

    • von186

      January 21, 2014 at 8:07 pm

      I saw that a while back, and it just made me chuckle all the more. I srsly can’t look at standard hearts the same in any capacity XDDD

  3. MeresAset

    January 21, 2014 at 4:51 pm

    Reblogged this on Loves Isis and commented:
    I might just celebrate Valentine’s Day now. 😉

  4. shezep

    January 21, 2014 at 6:28 pm

    OMG I love it! 😀 Happy Balls Day!

  5. Sati

    January 23, 2014 at 9:04 am

    Reblogged this on Kemetic Insights and commented:
    Not that I am to enthusiastic about Valentine’s Day, but as a single it’s always slightly depressing… Not this year though, thanks to Devo! 😀

  6. briarrose44

    January 23, 2014 at 5:58 pm

    If I walk through the candy isle laughing so much that strangers give me funny looks, I’m blaming you. 🙂

    • von186

      January 24, 2014 at 7:54 pm

      Apparently you’re not the only person who can’t look at the hearts without giggling now.
      I will take full responsibility XDDD At least its no longer just me laughing at the store now XD

  7. thefirstdark

    January 24, 2014 at 10:11 am

    Reblogged this on The Darkness in the Light.

  8. Mikhael aka Setken (@WingedPhysique)

    January 24, 2014 at 2:33 pm

    I love this! The pic of the dude with the mo and disco ball and is hilarious!

    Here are the balls I created a couple of years ago for my shrine (scroll to end of post):

    • von186

      January 24, 2014 at 7:51 pm

      I remember seeing that post :3
      I’ve got a carnelian heart that I use. Not quite as accurate as your’s, but they work XD
      And the disco ball image was pure gold. I was lucky I found it XDDD

  9. Fjothr Odinsdottir Lokakvan

    January 25, 2014 at 3:19 pm

    I was already laughing, and then “leave them on your shrine for the gods to keep an eye on” made me lose it.

    • von186

      January 25, 2014 at 6:31 pm

      you never know, they could get lost XD

  10. Silverangel2011

    January 26, 2014 at 12:08 pm

    I new light on an old subject, Thank you!

  11. ~Heidi's Magical Haven~

    July 25, 2014 at 4:05 pm

    Reblogged this on ~Heidi's Magickal Haven~ Blog.

  12. Athena

    January 4, 2016 at 3:13 am

    My name is Athena. Really. I’m on a journey, I am in turmoil. I received a death card (tarot) looked up cadeuceus (related prop), found the term kerykeoin…and found your blog. Looks like you posted recently. I like that. Its funny…I found you to help me understand and realize…you are happy with who you are. You aspire to be complete and That is Good.

  13. Tochtli Yaokiski

    May 19, 2018 at 3:53 pm

    Es muy interesante, y un poco gracioso, ya que suelo tener algunos sueños sexuales donde se encuentra Seth, por cierto, yo adoro y venero a Seth.


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