Modern Mythology: Santa Min

24 Dec

This post may not be safe for those under 18. Some images are NSFW.

I’d like to tell you a story about Santa Min.

Santa Min

Once upon a time, as the months got colder and colder, Santa Min looked down at the people of the world and felt sorry for them. He decided that he wanted to help them by finding a way to keep them warm! In order to facilitate this, Min decided to use what he knows best- sex!

So one night, he and a bunch of his god pals went trolling around Egypt, leaving all sorts of goodies in people’s houses.

Borrowed from

But these weren’t the normal gifts that you’d expect to receive. Oh no! Santa Min knows what everyone really wants… Sex toys! And that’s why people love Santa Min, he doesn’t discriminate against how you behaved that year! Were you good? Here is a cock ring for you! Were you naughty? A cock ring for you as well! Santa Min knows that the secret to a happy winter is lots of love making. And he shares the love making with all of humanity of every color, preference and type you could imagine.

The morning after Santa Min has left his presents for everybody throughout all of Egypt, the people rejoice in his bringing of fertility and love to the land by setting out offerings for him, and celebrating the the most… obvious part of his person.

Santa Min Shrine

And as a final display of devotion, everyone helps to bring zep tepi back into the world by making some love themselves (because creation is orgasmic, after all).

And this is why many people are born in late August/early September, even to this day.


Now, as I’m sure you can tell, this is an entirely modern myth. It’s a new spin on something old, and it was created spontaneously one day when I made a comment to a fellow Kemetic that I was handing out cock rings to coworkers- like a weird Santa handing out sex toys to all the little boys and girls. They made mention that it’s something Min would do, and the story took a life of its own.

It seems to me that the modern Kemetic community lacks these modern myths. Many of us are so attached to the past that we forget that Egyptian mythology often changed and grew with society. I think it would be great if we were able to bring forth elements from the past, and make something new and fresh out of them. Take the gods and bring them to the present era.

This has been done in the myth above using a modern cultural icon- Santa. He is someone who brings good cheer and happiness to those who are good. But we’ve taken this idea and modified it to Kemetic/Egyptian standards or terms. Because Egypt had few stigmas on sex, sexuality, orientation, gender identification, etc. (as far as we know, at least) it makes sense that Min, whose primary function was protection and fertility, would bring gifts to everyone- “naughty” and nice alike.  This myth has also tried to incorporate ideas such as Zep Tepi- the first time, and connect the act of sex, celebration and fertility to the idea of things starting over, starting fresh- which is often mirrored in many winter myths (the sun being reborn, the fresh start of the New Year, etc).

I think if we are able to make the right connections to the past, it’s entirely possible to create a whole new set of myths for the modern era.

About the shrine above:

The shrine above was made with symbolism in mind, I would like to go over that symbolism here.

Santa Min Shrine 2

As you can see, Santa Min is in the back. He is the focus of this shrine. I would have liked a larger image, but it’s the closest I could find. There are items on the shrine which celebrate sex- vibrators and cock rings of various types and colors. There is bread and water- two staples in Egyptian offerings. I have added a white selenite spire- the white being related to Min already, but also for purity and the sexual connotations therein. And of course, the fact that it’s a phallic shape helps.

Santa Min Shrine 3

There are four leaves of lettuce- which is associated with Min and penises in Egypt in general. I chose 4 for completion of the year and the successful completed act of sex, and the joy received in so doing. I chose green incense- green for fertility. Incense for its uses in Egyptian offering standards.  And a white candle- once again, the white being used because of it’s associations with Min, and the candle itself harkening back to Zep Tepi, reminding us to bring creation in day to day life- every day.

What is your take on modern mythology? Do you think it has a place in modern Kemetic practice? Would you want to try your hand at creating modern myths?

Other Relevant Posts:


Posted by on December 24, 2012 in Kemeticism


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20 responses to “Modern Mythology: Santa Min

  1. Aubs Tea

    December 24, 2012 at 8:54 pm

    Reblogged this on Mystical Bewilderment.

  2. Jessidora Ambersun

    December 24, 2012 at 9:00 pm

    Devo.. I just… THANK YOU!!!!!!!!!!

  3. Setken

    December 25, 2012 at 1:22 am

    Has got me thinking, has got me thinking . . . . . Enjoyed the post; glad to know there is someone else out there with a collection of cockrings too!

    • von186

      December 25, 2012 at 6:47 am

      Ah yes! They’re from my second job 😛 The company sells sex toys.

  4. Bastemhet

    December 25, 2012 at 3:55 am

    Reblogged this on Per Bastemhet and commented:
    NSFW. But hilarious all the same. XD

  5. castielnova

    December 25, 2012 at 6:44 am

    It’s not just the Kemetics that are missing out on contemporary myths. I think it’s everyone, really and as a story teller myself, I find this to be heartbreaking and at the same time, inspiring.
    But this, this is awesome and beautifully hilarious. Thank you for sharing.

  6. Aiedaile

    December 25, 2012 at 4:28 pm

    😀 Very nice post! It too gives me an idea as I do some sacred sex work on occasion. Thank you though for a very good read.

  7. Iait Yinepu

    December 25, 2012 at 5:01 pm

    I have a September baby!!

    I’d love to have some modern takes on Egyptian Mythology, as I want to celebrate my religion, but end up celebrating the usual known Christmas every year, as I don’t know ‘how’ or ‘what’ to do to make it more align with my beliefs. This year I added a feast for the Celestial cow, but it was kind of overshadowed with the “Christmas” tree and decorations. I do hope to change it to be more Kemetic over time and new myths would definitely help! Good job.

  8. warboar

    December 25, 2012 at 5:27 pm

    Reblogged this on Shadows of the Sun.

  9. Louise Little-Gainford

    December 26, 2012 at 6:46 am

    This is fantastic! I love all the traditional festivals but for any faith to survive it needs to evolve. I’m looking forward to establishing Santa Min as part of my winter traditions. Even my Christian (but not affiliated with any church) wants to join in…’t think why ;p


  10. MeresAset

    January 2, 2014 at 1:19 am

    Just discovered this post and love the idea of Santa Min. Naughty? Nice? Who cares! Here are some sex toys.

    • von186

      January 2, 2014 at 4:36 pm

      Santa could learn a thing or two 😉

  11. George McGeorge

    December 1, 2014 at 12:21 pm

    Excellent! I’m not kemetic myself, but I always appreciate modern mythologies. The fact that it’s sex-positive is just the fabulous icing on the cake. Thanks for contributing to the work of an evolving mythos 🙂

  12. mrreluctantpagan

    December 9, 2015 at 2:46 pm

    You could always include Ranch dressing on those lettuces leaves for added symbolism.

  13. mrreluctantpagan

    December 9, 2015 at 2:50 pm

    Reblogged this on The Reluctant Pagan and commented:
    Hi everyone *waves*

    One thing that always bothers me is being able to bring my Kemetic faith into line with the festivals of my Celtic land. During some research on what to do for yule i found this funny, rude and thought provoking post by Von over at The Twisted Rope.

    I still have a bit of thinking to do and hope to have a post soon about what i will be doing for yule. I really want to incorporate the rebirth of Ra if possible.


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