Working with the Fae

14 Oct

Mandatory disclaimer: These are the methods that have worked for me. As with all things, my methods are not the only way to do things, nor can I promise that they are fool proof. As with all things, please use your discretion.

Someone asked me to write about how I began to work with the fae- so here I am πŸ˜›

My story isn’t that exciting. Everything I have done in regards to the fae was taught to me by someone else who had been working with them for years, and happens to have an extremely close tie to the fae. I don’t happen to have a lot of book knowledge on this area. At the end of this post, I will list books that were recommended to me to read in order to learn more about the fae (I haven’t gotten to them yet- I have quite the long book list!). So please keep in mind when reading this post.

I feel that the the fae are as diverse and different as all of us. My experiences with the fae could be different from your own, and that is important to keep in mind. What is also important to keep in mind is that, unlike with a lot of free form, free loving pagans who say that “what feels good” trumps what is in the “rule book”, I highly highly highly recommend that you actually follow the rules when working with the fae. They have rules, and if you don’t want to piss anyone off, it’s definitely a good idea to follow the rules.

So what are the rules? Well here is what I was taught:

  • No iron on the offering plate, shrine or anything you leave out for them. Ever. Period. No exceptions to this rule. It is toxic on a good day, horribly fatal on a bad (as I understand it).
  • Do not eat anything you leave out for them. Ever.
  • If you ever find yourself face to face with a fae, mind your manners. This doesn’t mean you have to be a stick in the mud, but mind your words and actions. Be a good host.
  • Don’t follow any fae into their realms, if possible. It’s possible to get stuck there.
  • In my personal experience, don’t be flaky with the fae. If you’re going to forge a relationship with them, be serious about it. Be punctual with any schedules you have with them. They seem to appreciate follow through.
  • Do not break any promises you make with them. They don’t seem to like that.
  • Speaking of promises, be very selective in any deals you cut with them.

When I first wanted to start working with the fae, I simply started to leave offerings out for them. Fae tend to be big into the outdoors. So when you’re first starting, I recommend that you leave your offerings outside for them (I left my on my balcony/patio). I chose to leave my offerings for them on the full moon and the new moon. Twice a month, without fail. When I started, I was told that I would need to be consistent. You don’t start offering to them twice a month, and then decide two months in that you’re too busy all of a sudden, or that you no longer care. Many fae are mistrustful of humans and once they’ve decided to give you a chance, don’t appreciate you dropping the ball. Let’s just say that gods have more patience than most fae.

Offerings for the fae are pretty straight forward. Make sure that there is nothing iron involved. Honestly, to keep it simple for myself, I don’t include anything metal (as a general rule). They are big into natural areas, so I tend to stick with more natural things- ceramic, pottery, wood. Here is a general list of what I’ve found them to like:

  • Alcohol (who doesn’t?)
  • Sweets- baked goods specifically (seriously, the more sugar, the better)
  • Juices
  • Fruit
  • Milk
  • Honey
  • Plants or living things (don’t let these plants die. omg don’t)
  • Fluorite
  • Rosemary

You are welcome to try just about anything that you’d eat, though. I’ve given them breads, cheeses, and other stuff laying around my house without any adverse reactions. However, sweets is by far the most popular request I’ve received. I typically set my offerings out in the evening, or after the sun has set. I was also taught that once you put something out for them, don’t touch it- leave it be. I then come out the next morning/day and take them in. I don’t typically let them sit out for more than 24 hours. Once you’re done with them, you can leave them outside (“give them to nature”) or throw them away. As stated above do. not. eat. them. This is one tradition where you don’t want to be eating anything you offer. You can have a permanent offering place or ‘shrine’ to them. Or you can just set things in the same location every month. Up until recently, I had no set place for them- I’d just put the offerings in the same place every time. How hardcore you want to get with your area is up to you.

After I began to set out offerings regularly, I started to notice dots of light. I know, that sounds like I’m on crack, but it’s what happened. And after I quit working with them for a while, the dots went away (and now that I’ve recently got back into working with them- lo, the dots have returned). You may or may not see dots or anything- it really does depend. I don’t typically ask the fae for anything in particular. I set out the offerings because I want them to flourish, I don’t expect anything in return. I have heard of people being able to ask favors from the fae, but I recommend that you work for a good while to establish a good relationship with them before doing anything of the sort.

It’s said that fae will often steal stuff or move stuff around your house. I suppose if you’ve lost something, you could leave out some goodies for them, and maybe it’ll re-appear. Sometimes mischief in your house can be abated by pleasing the local fae/fauna/spirits/etc. And sometimes making a big pile of shinies for them works just as well. It really depends on where you’re living and the condition of the land around you. Down here in the desert, it’s very quiet and I don’t usually have any problems.

As simple and short as it sounds, this is seriously what I do currently for the fae. Hopefully this is of some help to those who are interested. If you have any questions, you can ask in the comments section. I’ll do my best to answer what I can, though keep in mind that I am no guru πŸ™‚ Below is the list of books I was recommended, if you’d like to read up on them!

Recommended Reading:


Posted by on October 14, 2012 in Rambles


Tags: , , , , , , , , , ,

21 responses to “Working with the Fae

  1. Aubs Tea

    October 14, 2012 at 12:28 pm

    This is, actually, really similar to what I do with my land spirit.

  2. lingib

    October 15, 2012 at 3:22 am

    I’m just studying the Fae now, so this is brilliant. I feel drawn to them. I have a couple of books on them, but not any of your recommendations. Thank you for the list. I love your blogs, they’re always good to read. πŸ™‚

    • von186

      October 15, 2012 at 7:39 am

      Thank you! πŸ™‚

  3. kallistaqbhwt

    October 19, 2012 at 2:40 am

    The more sugar the better indeed. A friend taught me about a recipe she had used for a long time, she calls it ‘Faerie Sugar’: add some red food colouring to sugar, mix it all up in a bowl so the sugar looks pink and add a pinch of vanilla.
    I’ve been using that for over two years now (I usually leave it on leaves or stones). That and of course, offering stones (though this years I haven’t got around to making them).

  4. Aiedaile

    October 26, 2012 at 8:53 am

    My mate and I are very connected to the Fae and we seem to have one group that enjoys following us no matter where we live. They’ve had several plants, but I always by a new one right away if I realize the old one isn’t saveable for one reason or another. Though they contain iron and nickle, some Fae will take coins very happily. As you stated, if something goes missing from plain sight, it’s automatically blamed on the Fae. We have one particular male, who has told us his name is Tobas, is quite fond of moving our keys around unless they are left in certain areas.

    • von186

      October 29, 2012 at 7:57 am

      I’ve never had a fae step forward. But I see their lights around me all the time. It’s cool that you’ve been able to build such a good relationship with them!

      • Aiedaile

        October 29, 2012 at 8:23 am

        It’s been a long journey to get back to Them. I used to be very connected to the Fair Folk as a child, but I sort of lost it until about 4 years ago. The group that hangs around us is very talkative and enjoys showing us Their culture. It’s been an amazing experience.

  5. Ross Garrow

    March 14, 2015 at 2:29 am

    ive just started in the pagan path and i want to connect with fae , so i left a single orange next to a tree and its still there but the woodland i left the offering in is very close to a road and quite littered would there be any faeries there or am i wasting my time at the wrong place, thanks

    • von186

      March 21, 2015 at 4:04 pm

      There are probably some amount of land spirits there. However, the litter could be making them not want to come around, or it may take time on your part to convince them that you’re worth their time. If you’re wanting to reach out ot them, I’d recommend being consistent for quite a while in your offerings. And I’d look into cleaning the area up if at all possible. Land spirits and fae often like it when people honor and take care of the land that you’re living on. And it may make them more inclined to interact with you.

  6. Sunderjot Kaur

    May 19, 2015 at 10:20 pm

    Throughout my life I have had dreams of the Faeries. Usually it’s me and 1 or 2 other far. Yet, most recently, I was feasting with them and they said that they took my chihuahua to play with and would bring her back when they were done. πŸ™‚ I have never spoken to them, outside of dreams. However, I find it quite easy and rewarding to speak to trees. I try to speak with every tree I come across. My wand was a gift from a tree to which I have a connection. I was just wondering what your thoughts were on the dreams because I had a friend say that they were true encounters and not dreams. I don’t know myself, but my heart and soul long for such things. I’ve always felt like their realm is my true home, since I was a little girl.

    • von186

      May 22, 2015 at 7:00 pm

      It could be possible that you are traveling to their part of the world when you’re asleep. A lot of people do travel when they’re asleep, mainly because their body is acting on auto-pilot, and you’re less attached to your brain and body when you’re not conscious.

      So I mean, it is possible. But I’m not sure what else to recommend or say. If you feel a pull to them, you could always try and reach out to them while awake and see what happens.

  7. torhalla58

    June 12, 2015 at 12:10 pm

    Reblogged this on Exploring My Heritage, and Me.

  8. Ossia Sylva

    September 15, 2015 at 7:53 am

    Reblogged this on The Sinking Roots and commented:
    Reblogging this both for the quality post and for me to never lost this link!

  9. Steele Schraeder

    April 19, 2018 at 12:04 pm

    I just recently discovered that I may have faerys. Been leaving honey, cream, dimes,small balls of foil and candy out for them. I have been reading faery bible and faery folk. Trying to learn and apprise these mystical creatures . Do you have any more idea’s onhow to keep them happy and so they flourish? Thank you and Blessed Be.

  10. Lauren Stubbs

    July 9, 2020 at 1:22 pm

    After you leave them an offering you just bring it back inside?

    • DevoTTR

      November 7, 2020 at 1:11 pm

      Yeah, I’d often throw the offerings outside, or toss them. Was always taught not to eat them, and I didn’t know what else to do with them, tbh.

  11. Mayson

    August 10, 2020 at 5:03 pm

    What do you do with the offerings after 24 hours?

    • DevoTTR

      November 7, 2020 at 1:05 pm

      I would toss them outside, usually. Sometimes I’d throw them away, depending on where i live. I was always taught not to eat what you give them, so throwing outside was the best alternative I could come up with.

  12. loveofthedark

    August 25, 2020 at 7:45 pm

    FYI…Iron, which is a common element found in the earth (ie: clay, porcelain, ceramic…) is also guaranteed to be in your earthenware dishes.

    • DevoTTR

      November 7, 2020 at 1:06 pm

      Yep, you’re not wrong. I don’t pretend to know the ins and outs of this to any major degree. It’s purely what I had been taught/told at the time. I don’t really do work with the fae anymore, so it’s sorta a moot point for me, and I’ve always tried to be pretty clear with ppl that I’m not a huge resource for fae stuff. The age of this post alone should show how long its been since I’ve done anything of substance with the fae.


Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: