FK Journal: Over the Cliff

I love this metaphor. Because I love this metaphor, I love this FK post. I can’t tell you how many times I’ve told people to jump off the cliff. Some of you reading this have probably heard me tell you to do the same. To quit wasting your time and just jump already. That you’re making it harder on yourself by humming and hawwing at the top. Eventually, you’re going to have to jump (or get pushed off) so just go.

I love this metaphor.

Everything I do in life relates to this somehow. I originally came up with the idea of the cliff in high school. I was suffered from depression and was trying to sort it out myself without any help. At that time, I felt that I was standing on the edge of the cliff, and depression was taunting me to jump off (more or less relating to suicide). As time has gone on, I’ve begun to relate the cliff to difficult decisions. You need to do something- you can’t sit there and wait for a decision to be made for you. So you need to make your decision and own it (aka jump off the cliff). The more I began to work with the idea of the cliff, the more I began to really embrace the idea of letting go and jumping off (for better or worse). Working with Set has only increased this feeling- because if I don’t jump off myself, he’s sure to push me off shortly after.

A quote from the article:

When we’re looking at transforming, we tend to pace back and forth across that cliff edge, looking for an easy way down. We want to find the shortcut, the way to go forward without risk, without fear. There is never a real shortcut, however. We sometimes think we’ve found an easy way, but it tends to be either ineffectual or worse than just jumping.

The saying of ‘don’t cut corners’ comes to mind. There have been times when I’ve seen people try to skate down the edge of the cliff, only to get shelved half way down the mountain. Once again, you have to own your decision. Jumping from the top, to me, means you own what you are doing. You are all for it for better or worse. This is the person I try to be. I don’t always succeed at it, but dammit I try. Anymore, when I see a cliff coming my way, I don’t wait for it to come to me. Instead, I run at it headlong. Because it always seems to me that whatever is at the bottom is where I need to be.

Questions:

What transformation fears you? What are your cliffs?

I don’t know which transformations I fear. Usually, I like change. And I am always trying to change for the better. Of course, I fear sometimes that my changes will change who I think I am, and therefore the people around me. As I go through my therapy, I sometimes am sad to see my assy self leave, and I suppose on some levels there is fear in that. However, because I know this is something I need to do, I am always telling myself to just go with it. Whoever I become, I become. There is nothing wrong with that. My current cliff would probably be therapy, the task of making my halves whole. Sorting out that whole mess takes a lot of time and effort, and there have been times where I really wondered what I got myself into.

What would you use as a parachute? Where will you get it?

I guess you could say that I don’t use a parachute. I fly by the seat of my pants. Usually, I am careful in all that I do- to ensure that things go smoothly. I plan ahead, I watch my finances, I always keep my portfolio up to date… everything I can to prep. However, there are always cases where a cliff comes out of nowhere. A nasty surprise you weren’t expecting. All I can do at that point is do the best I can. That’s really the only parachute I allow myself.

What do these cliffs and transformations mean to you? What do you expect to find on the other side?

They usually mean hard work, but something better. I’m about to be run through the ringer, however I always feel that it’s for the better in long run. I think it is this sense of progress that removes my fear of cliffs. It’s a challenge, yes. But I always come out with more than I went in with. Even though part way through the trial, I might not feel like I made the wrong decision, it always pans out.

 

Can you jump off the cliff? Will you?

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