The Great Netjer Soda Guide

20 Dec

Ever needed something fast to offer the gods, but only had a fridge full of soda and wasn’t sure what to offer? Ever get in a pickle trying to figure out if Nebhet likes Pepsi or Coke? Well never fear, for I have created The Great Netjer Soda Guide that will allow you select which soda to give to which god with ease! Each of the sodas below has been hand selected for each Netjer ensuring a perfect fit and an awesome sensation as you leave this on the offering plate. Read on to find out which soda to offer your god and get to offering because who needs water anyways!

Crush – Shesmu
Dr. Pepper – Sekhmet, Imhotep
Mountain Dew – Meretseger or Geb
Big Red – Set, but beware not to give this to Osiris or Heru!
7 Up – Bast or HetHrw
Lift – Shu
Squirt – Min
Cream Soda – Min
Sierra Mist – Tefnut
Sunkist – Ra
Pepsi One – Aten
50/50 – Bawy
Barq’s Root Beer – Wepwawet
RC Cola – Any pharaohnic god/dess (Osiris, Ra, Geb, Heru, Aset, Hethrw, Nut)
Coke Zero – Nun, Amun
Jarritos – Khnum, Duamutef, Hapi, Imseti, Qebehsenuef
Sprite – Bes
Mello Yellow – Khepri
Brisk – Wenut
Vault – Heqet
Minute Maid – Seshat
Slice – Maahes
Love Body – Hethrw
Kuat – Osiris
Tab – Djehuty
Real Gold – Aset
Blue Sky – Nut

Have more soda suggestions? Place them in the comments section!
To view my more traditional offering guide, click here.


Posted by on December 20, 2011 in Kemeticism


Tags: , , , , , , , , , , ,

18 responses to “The Great Netjer Soda Guide

  1. Helmsman Of-Inepu

    December 20, 2011 at 2:58 pm

    Pakhet seems to like Slice as well. I suppose it’s a Lion/ess thing.

  2. Fanny Fae

    December 20, 2011 at 3:01 pm

    Sekhmet also seems to like that Red Crush stuff. She also likes the Red Spike energy drink. šŸ˜‰

  3. Aubs Tea

    December 20, 2011 at 4:22 pm

    This was perfect.

  4. Shefyt

    December 20, 2011 at 7:11 pm

    I think the Min ones were the best. šŸ˜‰

    If you haven’t already seen this, it seems appropriate.

    • von186

      December 20, 2011 at 8:54 pm

      That comic is awesome. But pretty much all of those comics are awesome.

  5. Eiliathia

    January 28, 2012 at 10:40 pm

    Just want to add my 2 cents: Sekhmet REALLY like root beer (any brand). And Bastet is a big fan of mountain dew.

  6. kallistaqbhwt

    May 14, 2012 at 2:06 pm

    Anubis recently asked me for Pepsi hmmmm.. For the first time ever since I’ve worked with Him.
    I was surprised at first but seems it’s not unusual at all, thanks for this šŸ™‚

  7. Carol

    January 27, 2013 at 9:43 am

    LMAO!!! I love this thank you!!!!

  8. Squid

    May 30, 2013 at 9:51 pm

    Ive had success with Bast and melon soda of any brand. Why that is the case I do not know.

  9. Odile

    November 29, 2014 at 7:15 pm

    What, no-one likes Fanta?

  10. Jessica

    November 1, 2015 at 2:11 am

    Sobek likes Inca Kola!

  11. Charli

    April 22, 2016 at 1:36 am

    What about vanilla sodas? Vanilla Coke or Vanilla Coke Zero? Any ideas for that?

    • DevoTTR

      April 25, 2016 at 7:13 pm

      I don’t have many ideas, sadly. Most of these alignments have plays on words or puns in them, and that’s how I arrived at my conclusions. Truth is that most of the gods seem to be okay with whatever you offer them. So worst case would be to offer your soda, and if they say they hate it, then you know not to offer it again. But usually teh NTRW aren’t jerks about it when you give them stuff they’re not fond of.

  12. Brendan

    May 3, 2018 at 8:26 pm

    Hi, new Kemetic here! I love this guide! I recently offered Heru-wer orange flavored Ramune. Though I am 100% certain that my god phone is out of order, I feel that it was well-received. The information at this website has been so helpful for me as a beginner and I hope to learn more each and every day.

  13. Eve

    July 1, 2019 at 4:14 am

    Soda is poison and you forgot Thoth. What a joke.

    • DevoTTR

      July 2, 2019 at 1:00 pm

      idk why you’d think this would be an okay thing to say lmao, but also joke’s on you because you completely missed the point of the post. Every soda on the list is associated via pun or related to an aspect of the god and their function, there is no thoth because i couldn’t find a soda that would actually make sense or associate with him. its also why everyone else suggesting sodas is largely missing the point just like you. because it’s about puns. a thing the egyptians loved to lace their offerings with. an attempt to make a sorta “eh” offering (soda) into something more meaningful. but all these years later, and people still woosh right past it. it’s hilarious.


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