I’m going to be journaling about the last two FK homework assignments at once. I didn’t complete last week’s assignment until this week… so two for one!
The first assignment was to do something that you enjoy. Something that feeds your flame. I chose dancing.
Dancing is very important to me. It’s spiritual. It connects me with the world around me. Calms me. Grounds me. Plus, it is a tool for me to access visions and communion with the gods. It also ties me to Set in multiple ways. I love to dance. I haven’t danced recently for three reasons. One being a lack of mp3 player. It’s hard to dance without music. Second being time. And third being health. Ever since my stomach issues started arising, my ability to dance has dropped significantly. Sometimes, within minutes of starting, my left side lights up with pain- and it’s all I can do to stand. Despite these problems, I wanted to try and dance.
The first issue was fixed by my s.o. who got me a new, shiny mp3 player :3 I finally chiseled out time this week to do it, and I just ignored the health concerns. I hoped they wouldn’t plague me.
All in all, the experience was nice. I loosen up so much better with dancing. Way more than just regular stretching. But alas, my health caught up to me. I used too many spoons… and I was left on the flooring, crying because I was pissed at my stomach. This health that takes away what I enjoy. For no real tangible reason. I don’t even have a label for it. And it frustrates me. Even so, I want to dance more. I want to get back to doing it regularly. Hopefully, the stomach thing will… lessen. Or something.
The homework for this week was to take something that stifles your flame, and try to find ways to lessen it. I have lots of things that stifle, and I’m frequently trying to find ways to remove those barriers. Those issues. My biggest issue ever, though, has to be eating out. I love to eat out. And it eats up a lot of my money. For years I’ve been trying to figure out ways to stop this habit, and the week before last, I tried a new, unthinkable angle. Wanna hear it?
I bought more groceries.
Normally, I would buy the bare minimum. I wouldn’t buy snacks. I’d get minimal supplies. And my recipes would be bare bones things (like… 5 ingredients or less). But now, the goal is to spend *more*. To invest in snacks, random things to eat, and recipes that actually involve different flavors than just meat and vegetables. And lo! We’ve eaten in most of the days tihs week. Yeah, we ate out twice- due to our schedule getting messed up. But even with those two flubs, we spent less last week than on a normal week, because we invested in groceries. So this is the new angle. for me.
This helps my flame because it helps me save money, which reduces stress. It allows my s.o. to have more choices in foods, and to not feel guilty for eating snacks, or buying snacks. Which helps our relationship- which also reduces stress. This also reduces anger. In many ways, eating in makes my life easier and better. And that helps my Flame.
Now lets hope I can keep this up 😄