Prove You Are Serious

14 Aug

If there is one thing that has driven me nuts lately, it’s the lack of shrine space. When I moved out in early Spring, I didn’t take the shrine case I had been using with me. I just didn’t have the room in my car- and it didn’t really fit with the decor of the house. So I left it at my mother’s. At the time, I was still figuring out what I was doing with Shinto, and I wasn’t doing my daily ritual anymore- Set wanted me to focus on figuring it all out, not on trying to show up every day. So I left it, and since I’ve moved, I haven’t had a formal set up.

Right now, Set sits on top of a pantry in my dining room. And Aset and Asar are on another pantry that sits right by Set’s pantry. And in btwn the two pantries is my kamidana that is in progress. While I’ve no problem with where the kamidana is, I don’t feel that the Netjer in question really like being there. Set especially. Sure, he can watch what is going on, and he is higher than everyone else. But at the end of the day, I can’t worship in that kind of setting. I just don’t like it. So right now, Set is getting no loves in the form of ritual.

Set has shown me what he’d like for a shrine. A nice case, a nice table- and in a space that has yet to be cleared out. I won’t be able to clear this space out until late Sept when I can buy my futon from LA. So right now, at the very earliest, it’d be October before I can officially start my practice again. This is driving me nuts. And while it’s possible that I could get what I need to make a temporary shrine for him, I have a feeling that that isn’t the point. The feeling I get most from him lately is “You say you are serious, show me you are serious. Prove it to me”. This means no cheap particle board cabinets, no build it yourself furniture that will die in our next move. No more of that. For whatever reason, his tone and mood have changed- and it’s time to get serious.

Now the search has begun to find his items. He has shown me what he wants, and now I have to find those items- or wait until they find me. I can’t say that I’m looking like mad right now- because even if I found the perfect item today, I wouldn’t be able to use it until October, pretty much. I’m hoping that sitting still and waiting is the best choice of action right now. And in some ways, I think proving my patience is part of the point too, for whatever reason.

But even though I’m waiting, I really wish that this could hurry up lol.


Posted by on August 14, 2011 in Kemeticism


2 responses to “Prove You Are Serious

  1. SatSekhem

    August 16, 2011 at 3:40 pm

    I totally understand where you’re coming from. You’re so impatient to [i]get it going[/i] that you don’t want to wait. However, jumping the gun is really not an option. I’m glad Sekhmet is NOT asking me to be that serious, though. It would drive me nuts being unable to get things settled “properly.”

    • von186

      August 16, 2011 at 6:35 pm

      Yeah, I have a hard time ignoring the impatience. But it seems it is important to *do this right* or not do it at all.

      I’m not really sure how I feel about having The Itch. I really don’t. In some ways, it’s amazing and makes me feel honored. On other days, it’s a burden that I wish wasn’t given to me XD And most days, I wish things were more clear cut than they are. But alas, life is rarely crystal clear and sterile. Esp when it’s Set.


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